


Raikiri no Yoki

by Atsuki-hime (Atsuki_hime)



Series: Raikiri no Yoki [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Aliases, Alternate Universe, Community: kakairu_fest, Fantasy, Lore - Freeform, Lots of Shinto references, M/M, Teenage Iruka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-26
Updated: 2013-08-26
Packaged: 2017-12-24 17:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/942538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atsuki_hime/pseuds/Atsuki-hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Raikiri no Yoki – vessel of the legendary Lightning Cutter. Iruka has been the vessel since he was eight years old, ready to die for his village at any given moment. However, not all is as it seems when "Shitani Shita" arrives. </p><p>Tied for Most Creative Work in the 2013 KakaIru Fest Summer Round.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raikiri no Yoki

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I want to extend my deepest thanks to Team Trope – samsarapine, ericales, and end1essly – for their hard work and dedication. Especially samsarapine and ericales, who offered their beta work/insight for this fic from the very beginning and convinced me it didn’t suck. :D Also, thanks to hatakeuminos for jumping in and offering last-minute beta services. Any/all mistakes left are mine.

** Raikiri no Yoki **

There is fire.

The night sky glows orange above the burning village. There are screams in the distance, but they do not faze him. He is running with all of his might through smoke and ash, his lungs and muscles burning in protest. There is no time to scream.

He needs to find them.

The priest had tried to take him away from them, but he was clever and had managed to slip from the priest’s grasp, taking advantage of the evacuation’s confusion. He knows the priest was only looking out for him, trying to take him to safety – but he needs to be with them. _Nothing_ can prevent him from being with them.

He runs and runs and runs, dodging crumbling buildings and avoiding raging fires. He passes other villagers who are running in the opposite direction. They do not pay any mind to him. He knows they are trying to save themselves.

Just as he arrives to the gates of his village, the ground begins to shake. In the distance, there is a deafening roar. He does not stop running, not even when he is past the gates of his burning village and in the clearing that separates his home from the mountains.

The plains are on fire, just like the village, but he knows they are out there. He knows he can bring them back with him. Even though his head spins and his chest burns and his legs are about to give out, he runs, searching through darkness illuminated by flames.

There is another deafening roar, and this time, he stumbles. He falls onto his hands and knees on the ground, surrounded by fire. The heat pounds over him in waves, and he chokes on the burning air. 

Finally, the fear begins to set in. What if he doesn’t find them? What if the fire consumes him before he reaches them? What if they’re already…?

“Please save our village,” he hears, crystal clear as if the words were whispered right into his ear. He looks up, and the fire in front of him parts and exposes a clearing. There, only a few meters away, stands his mother and the silhouette of a man.

“Mother!” he cries, nearly sobbing from relief at finally finding her. But there is something wrong. The silhouette is not his father. In fact, there is a heap on the ground. A body. With long, brown hair, just like…

“Use my life as you deem necessary,” his mother continues, speaking to the silhouette in a calm monotone. “I am your vessel. I am your weapon. In the name of all that serve you, I willingly give you my body and the power sealed inside. Please, protect us.”

He watches as the silhouette moves, and the shadows concealing its body seem to come alive. They wrap and contort around the silhouette’s body as it pulls back an arm. He cries out, calling for his mother, but she does not hear him. He wants to run to her, to protect her from the strange shadow, but his body is no longer listening to his will. He is frozen in terror as he watches the silhouette move. In one swift strike, too fast for him to see, the silhouette’s arm is impaled through his mother’s stomach. 

Tears begin to stream down his face, but he does not make a sound. His throat feels as if it’s closed up and his chest is close to bursting. The world seems to tilt on its axis as he watches the silhouette begin to extract its arm out his mother. He barely registers that the silhouette is pulling something out of his mother’s body before he hears her last shuddering, dying breath.

“Please, protect him. He is everything to us. I beg you, keep him safe.”

The silhouette pauses. It may have even nodded, but his vision is blurring from the tears and lack of oxygen and he can no longer tell. When the silhouette finally frees the item from his mother’s body, she crumples to ground with a dull thump, landing on top of the other body at her feet.

The world tilts again, and he knows he is about to pass out. He knows he will die here, consumed by the flames around him. He realizes he doesn’t care. His eyes are glued to the fallen bodies of his parents, and he welcomes death if it means he can be with them again.

He doesn’t realize the silhouette is standing in front of him until something cold is pressed underneath his chin. His head is forced up and his eyes are torn away from his parents’ bodies. His world is suddenly filled with dark, swirling shadow, and he barely notices his head is being propped up by the tip of a sword. The blade is crackling with lightning, but the arcs do not hurt him. When his eyes reach the face of the silhouette, he can’t make out any distinguishing features besides one glowing, red eye.

He knows he should be furious. He should be screaming and crying, attempting to use the hidden blade in his pocket to exact vengeance on behalf of his parents. This figure before him killed his mother, and most likely his father, and he should return the favor – but he can’t. Instead, the heat of the flames disappear and his head stops spinning. His chest stops hurting and he can finally breathe again, and a wave of calm washes over him.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but the red eye seems to peer deep inside of him, viewing his soul. His eyes begin to grow heavy and he hazily wonders if dying is supposed to be so painless, before the silhouette crouches down in front of him so they are eye to eye, removing the tip of the sword from his chin.

**_Sleep._ **

The command seems to reverberate through every fiber of his being. He tries to fight it, but he feels his consciousness slipping. He wants to hold on, to crawl over to his parents and die by their side, but the red eye holds him in place.

“Mother… Father…”

**_Sleep._ **

Cool, dry fingertips brush against his cheek, and he has no other choice than to obey. 

**-x-x-x-**

Iruka is twelve, and he is running.

“You brat! Get back here!”

Actually, he is escaping. He giggles madly as he outruns the shrine’s priests who are chasing after him. They are waving their brooms at him, threatening to hang him by his toenails if he doesn’t stop running, which only makes him turn around and stick his tongue out at them defiantly, waving the meat bun he stole from the kitchens in triumph.

He thinks he has finally outrun them when he hears voices coming from in front of him. The voices are from more priests advancing on him, and he skids to a stop in front of a giant statue. He is surrounded, and in any moment, the priests will close in on him and take his meat bun away and he’ll have to face the disappointed look in Sandaime’s eyes again and –

All of a sudden, something closes around his mouth and he is pulled behind the statue, his back pressed to something sturdy and warm. He struggles, trying to break free, but someone shushes him and he stills when he hears the priests’ voices in front of the statue.

“Did you find him?”

“Where could he have run off to?”

“He probably snuck past us again, the brat!”

“You go this way, and we’ll check the haiden.”

“Someone tell Sandaime that Iruka is up to his pranks again!”

The voices begin to fade out as the priests part ways, and once everything is silent he is finally set free. He spins around to face his savior – and give him a good piece of his mind for capturing him like that – but he freezes.

The man before him gives off weird vibes. His black hakama is normal, but his black robes are not – all the priests wear white robes to represent purity. The lower half of his face is covered by a cloth mask that seems to be attached to his robes, and his left eye is covered by an eye patch. His other eye is slate gray, and his jet black hair falls into his eyes. He is crouched down, eye level with Iruka, and they stare at each for long moments before the man’s visible eye curves up happily and he lifts one hand in greeting.

“Yo.”

Iruka stares.

Long moments drag by, but the man’s happy arch never disappears as he returns Iruka’s heavy gaze. Iruka decides he doesn’t trust this man, especially since he doesn’t look like any priest Iruka’s ever seen before, and he tightens his hold on his meat bun and prepares to –

Where did his meat bun go?

Iruka breaks eye contact with the man to glance at his now empty hands. He scans the ground for the meat bun, twirling in a circle, but finds nothing. 

“Are you looking for this?”

Iruka looks back at the strange man crouched next to him and sees his meat bun in the man’s hand. He scowls. He doesn’t know how or when the man snatched it from him, but it only confirms his suspicions that the man is just plain weird. Even his happy eye-arch is still there.

“Give that back!” Iruka cries and lunges for the bun, only to meet nothing but air. With speed unlike anything Iruka’s ever seen before, the man is now behind him. He hears the loud sound of swallowing but only catches a glimpse of the man’s nose as the man pulls his mask back up. “Hey, that was mine!”

“Really? Because I’m pretty sure it belonged to the kitchens,” the man replies, clearly amused.

Iruka fumes.

“And _you_ ate it!”

“ _You_ stole it from the kitchens.”

“And you _stole_ it from me!”

“I simply took back a missing item from a thief. And as a reward, I treated myself to a meat bun.”

Iruka can practically feel the grin underneath the man’s mask.

“I am not a thief!” Iruka even stomps his foot to drive his point home. The man chuckles.

“So what do you call someone who takes what doesn’t belong to them?”

“I was going to give it back! If I didn’t do something like this, then no one would even know I’m here!”

Iruka is on the brink of angry tears. How dare this man – a _stranger >_ – have the nerve to call him a thief? He never kept anything he took! Everything had been returned in the end, including Sandaime’s favorite tanto that Iruka really wanted for himself because it was beautiful and he wanted to practice with it and he would take really good care of it. But he returned it and if he hadn’t taken it in the first place, then Sandaime or the other priests would never pay him any attention. He’d have to stay inside the shrine all day and the only person he could talk to was Asuma, but Asuma is always busy training and it’s all the stupid seal’s fault!

“Seal?”

Iruka frowns heavily. He hadn’t realized he’d been talking out loud.

“You don’t know?” Iruka makes sure to sound incredulous, just to make the man feel dumb. “I’m the Raikiri no Yoki.”

“What’s that?”

Iruka deadpans.

“You really don’t know?”

“I’m not really from around here,” the man replies, rubbing the back of his neck with what Iruka can barely tell is a sheepish expression.

Iruka frowns. He’s never met anyone who didn’t know what he was. The only reason he was able to stay at the shrine in the first place was because of the seal below his navel. In his village, the Raikiri no Yoki was known to everyone.

“I, um…” Iruka begins. He’s never had to explain what he was before. “I have a sword inside of me.”

“A sword?” The man sounds surprised. “That sounds painful.”

“It’s not _inside_ of me,” Iruka corrects. “It’s sealed inside of me. Only Sharingan no Kakashi can take it out.”

“You mean the kami this shrine is dedicated to?”

“Yup. He protects our village from Tsukiyomi by using Raikiri, the sword inside of me.” Iruka quirks his eyebrow at the man, who looks like everything he’s been told is going right over his head. “You must live _really_ far if you don’t know what Tsukiyomi is.”

“You have no idea,” the man sighs, before squatting in front of Iruka again. “But I think I understand why they keep you here now. They’re trying to protect you.”

Iruka frowns. He _knows_ they’re trying to protect him. They remind him every single time he asks to go play with the children outside.

“You’re very important to this village,” the man continues. “You hold the one thing that can protect everyone from an untimely death, and it’s only natural that they’d do everything in their power to make sure you’re not put at risk. They don’t want you to get hurt.”

“They just don’t want their precious vessel to die before I absolutely need to,” Iruka spits. He is angry now.

“Need to?”

“When the kami breaks the seal of Raikiri, I die.” Iruka is all hard eyes and barely contained rage. He hates being the vessel. Why does he have to put his life on the line for this dumb village? They don’t even like him. The only people who even talk to him are Sandaime and Asuma. Everyone else avoids him like the plague.

Iruka doesn’t know how it happens, but suddenly, his face is buried in black robes and the man is embracing him. The surprise dampens his anger and hurt, and the man squeezes him tighter.

“You have a cruel fate,” the man whispers. “The weight on your shoulders is heavy and tiresome, and you are so young…I can’t imagine the future you have in front of you.”

Iruka’s eyes tear up. No one has ever said these things to him. The only person who has ever embraced him was Sandaime, and that was shortly after the last attack on the village when…

“You deserve to be happy, Iruka,” the man continues. He lets go of Iruka and they make eye contact. The man’s eye is stony and stern. “Do you want to go to school?”

Iruka is speechless. Who is this man? Why is he so concerned with Iruka’s happiness?

“Yes,” Iruka finally answers, and the man’s eye arches happily.

“Then I’m going to have a little talk with Sarutobi-sama about letting you go to school.” The man ruffles Iruka’s loose hair playfully before standing up, brushing off imaginary dust from his robes and hakama.

“I, um,” Iruka stutters, staring in disbelief. Can this man really convince Sandaime to let him go to school? “Thank you, priest-san.”

“Shitani Shita. You can call me Shita.”

“Shita-san.” Iruka bows, and the man waves to him before turning around, ready to leave. “Wait, Shita-san!”

“Yes?” Shita looks over his shoulder.

“Um…why were you hiding behind this statue?” Iruka gestures to the large statue of Sharingan no Kakashi that Shita had pulled him behind. It hid them very well from the main path, but he doesn't understand why Shita had been hiding there in the first place.

“Maa, well, you see,” Shita begins, before there is a shrill scream from the distance.

“Shitani-sama~! Oh Shitani-sama, where are you~?”

Iruka peeks out from behind the statue and sees a group of miko storming towards them. They look like they’re searching for someone.

“Shitani-sama! Are you over here? We would like to show you the haiden!”

“Shitani-sama, you _must_ see the new omamori we’ve made!”

“Shitani-sama~!”

The group of miko pass the statue, oblivious to Shita’s presence. Iruka looks back at Shita, who is rubbing the back of his neck. The visible portion of his cheek is tinged pink. Iruka laughs, but he understands. The miko go absolutely nuts over any attractive priest that visits their shrine.

“I think they’re gone now.” Iruka smirks at Shita, and Shita ruffles his hair again. Iruka tries to struggle away half-heartedly. He feels light-hearted, and knows Shita is the reason why. For the first time in his life, he has been seen as something other than a vessel.

“Take care of yourself, Iruka,” Shita says, walking around the statue. Iruka follows him to the main path. “I will see you again, and I expect you to be happy then, okay?”

Iruka grins and nods. Even after Shita walks away and disappears around the next corner, Iruka stands in front of the statue of Sharingan no Kakashi, smiling.

**-x-x-x-**

Iruka is fifteen and Asuma won’t stop talking about Kurenai.

They are walking down the road that leads to the shrine, following the calm flow of the Konoha River. Iruka is happy that his surrogate brother met him outside of the school today to walk him home, but all Asuma does these days is talk about how Kurenai loved the new kunai he bought her, or how pretty Kurenai’s hair is in the sunlight, or how Kurenai laughs at all of his jokes and hey that blur looks suspiciously like Anko-chan.

“Wha-?” Iruka is cut off when something collides with his face and he’s thrown off the path and lands in the river. When he surfaces, sputtering and splashing, he hears mad cackling from the road above. He stomps out of river, storming back to where Anko stands next to Asuma. Anko, all dark hair and dark eyes, is beaming mischievously at Iruka. Asuma looks like he wants to disappear off the face of the planet.

“You know, Iruka, if you’re going to be my husband, you’re going to need to sharpen your observation skills,” she chides, wagging a finger in front of him. “You should have spotted me before I even kicked you.”

“ _Excuse me_ , Anko-chan, if I’m not a warrior like you and Asuma. I’m just a humble priest with absolutely no desire to _kick people in the face_ ,” Iruka says calmly, even though his expression radiates fury.

“Don’t worry,” Anko replies, patting Iruka on the cheek with a little more force than necessary. “A few months after we’re married, you’ll want to kick _everyone_ in the face!”

Iruka seethes. His face stings and he is soaking wet and why does he have to be betrothed to the craziest girl in the village? He glares at Anko, who only grins in return, before pushing past her and continuing down the path. His sandals make squelching sounds against the dirt road, and he barely registers the friendly, “See you tomorrow, Iruka-kun~!” from Anko before she darts off.

Asuma is at his side again, and Iruka is glad he is _not_ talking about Kurenai.

“She’s, um…special.” Asuma breaks the silence after long, drawn out moments of squishy footsteps.

“Special doesn’t even begin to cut it,” Iruka grumbles, pulling his hair tie out and carding his fingers through sopping wet hair.

“She seems to like you,” Asuma offers. Iruka doesn’t appreciate the sentiment.

“She is going to kill me,” Iruka sighs. Asuma frowns, and Iruka wrings his hair out. He can finally see the tori gate that serves as an entrance to the shrine, and wants nothing more than to change his clothes before his chores. 

A figure by the gate catches his eye, and suddenly all the anger from his impromptu dip in the river disappears. He’d recognize that priest anywhere, and Asuma is left behind as Iruka picks up his pace and runs toward the entrance.

“Shita-san!” Iruka calls. The priest, who has already begun the climb up the stairs toward the shrine, turns around and spots Iruka. Iruka catches up to him, panting slightly after bounding up the stairs two at a time to reach Shita.

“Maa, you’re supposed to bathe before bed, Iruka, not right after school,” Shita teases, his visible eye already happily arched.

Iruka grins sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck, where his loose hair clings in wet clumps. “Sorry about that, Shita-san. I, um, fell.”

“Oh really?” Shita, who is standing on the step above Iruka, bends down until their faces are a mere breath apart. His dark eyebrow is arched and his eye has drooped into an expression of disbelief. “And I suppose that footprint on your face has nothing to with it?”

Iruka flushes. He’s not sure if it’s from Shita’s close proximity or from having Anko’s footprint on his face, but he suddenly feels very, very hot.

“It might have something to do with it,” Iruka mumbles, looking away from Shita’s face in embarrassment. 

A couple of seconds pass by before Iruka’s sopping wet hair is ruffled as best as sopping wet hair _can_ be ruffled, and Shita says, “Let’s talk about it later, Iruka-kun. I need to see Sarutobi-sama.”

Iruka frowns, looking at Shita again, who is no longer in his face but walking up the stairs. “Don’t forget to visit me before you leave!” Iruka calls, and Shita waves his hand in acknowledgement without turning around. 

Iruka watches him disappear up the steps. Shita hasn’t visited the shrine in almost a year, and Iruka has been on edge waiting for his next appearance. He doesn’t live in Konoha, and only comes every few months to speak to Sandaime. About what, only kami knows, but he’s just glad when Shita visits him after speaking to Sandaime. Iruka loves talking to Shita, and over the last year, he’s been practicing his summoning and wants to show off what he’s learned to Shita.

“Anko-chan is going to have a run for her money,” Iruka hears before Asuma claps him on his shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Iruka glances at Asuma, who is smirking at him.

“You don’t grin like a lovesick fool at _her_ every time she visits you,” Asuma says with a teasing lilt.

“Wha- who -?” Iruka stammers, eyes wide. “I am not lovesick!”

“Mmm hmm. And I’m Sharingan no Kakashi.”

Iruka makes a frustrated noise and punches Asuma in the arm, who only laughs. Iruka throws his hands up in the air in exasperation, muttering something about how he is _absolutely not lovesick_ before storming up the steps.

**-x-**

It’s late afternoon and the sky is beginning to darken when Shita visits Iruka. Iruka is outside the entrance to the haiden, lost in his own thoughts as he sweeps the path. His hair is still damp but he managed to change into dry clothes after the miko priestesses giggled over his dripping wet ones.

He is going over a new strategy in his head that will hopefully help Junto-kun memorize the multiples of three when he backs up into something solid and sturdy. At first, he thinks he just bumped into one of the komainu that guard the shrine, so he continues to sweep. But then the something behind him laughs and Iruka yelps and spins around to face a masked priest who is watching him with an amused glint in his eye.

“Shita-san, I thought you were the komainu,” Iruka breathes, holding the broom to his chest as he takes a long breath to calm his nerves.

“Well, I do feel very protective of this shrine,” Shita says in his nearly-constantly amused tone, “but I think I’m a little more handsome than the komainu.” He pats the lion-dog statue he’s been leaning against with what Iruka has determined is a smile beneath the mask. Iruka bites down on his automatic agreement of Shita’s handsomeness.

“How was your visit with Sandaime?” Iruka asks instead.

"Intriguing, as always. He told me you’ve become quite skilled with your shikigami.”

"Do you want to see?" Iruka is grinning now. He's been waiting to show Shita the fruit of his labor for months now.

“Show away.” Shita’s eye arches.

Iruka sets his broom against the other komainu guarding the entrance before looking side to side. No one is around, but he knows he should hurry anyway. He glances at Shita, who is watching with amusement, and Iruka feels his heartbeat quicken. He is nervous, but he will show Shita he has made progress since the last time they met.

Iruka closes his eyes and focuses on his center. The background noise of the shrine begins to fade out, and soon all he can hear is the sound of his own heartbeat. He pictures in his head how each beat of his heart pumps blood through his veins, and how it circulates through his entire body. He pictures his blood is power, and it is flowing through him in a constant cycle through focal points in his body. He inhales slowly, and the focal points glow bright in his mental image. He focuses on those points, and connects them with the stream of energy flowing with his blood. Once they are connected, he is ready.

Iruka opens his eyes, bites his thumb to draw blood, and slams his palm onto the ground. “Kuchiyose!” he shouts, and the power he imagined flowing through his body seems to rush out of the cut on his thumb. There is a puff of smoke that blinds his vision temporarily, but once it clears, two creatures are revealed, standing in front of Iruka: a large, nine-tailed fox with blue eyes and a red-eyed crow as tall as Iruka’s knees.

Iruka beams at Shita as he shows off his summons. He’s been able to summon the fox since he was thirteen, and he was able to finally summon the crow three months ago. An overwhelming sense of pride washes over him when Shita applauds his performance, but the heady feeling is interrupted when the fox starts yipping at the crow, who squawks and pecks at the fox. 

The fox begins chasing the crow around Iruka in circles, knocking into Iruka’s legs and causing him to fall forward. The ground comes barreling toward Iruka’s face, but before Iruka can brace himself, everything stops. He’s pulled up into something warm and sturdy that smells like steel and freshwater. It takes him a moment to realize his nose is buried in soft, black robes and there are arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“Impressive, Iruka,” Shita says, and Iruka feels Shita’s chest rumble when he speaks. “Two shikigami already? That’s quite a feat.”

“I only need two more before I can complete the Final Kuchiyose,” Iruka replies, but he’s mostly mumbling into Shita’s hard chest. Iruka’s cheeks are warm and he’s not entirely sure it’s from embarrassment. He has to fight down a shiver when he feels Shita’s fingers run through his slightly damp hair, before Shita lets him go. He can tell Shita is smirking.

“So, what was the deal with the wet clothes and the footprint?”

“Her name is Anko-chan,” Iruka groans, all the embarrassment from earlier that day hitting him full force.

“Anko-chan, hm? Ah, young love. Is kicking someone into a river how you kids court each other these days?”

“She snuck up on me!” Iruka shouts, trying to defend his honor. The amused glint in Shita’s eye says it’s not working. “And what do you mean ‘kid’? You can’t be that old, Shita-san.”

“On the contrary, Iruka-kun, I’m _way_ older than you. If you eat your vegetables, you’ll look just as good as I do when you’re my age.”

And all of a sudden, the light and humorous atmosphere around them goes dark.

“If I even make it that long,” Iruka mutters. He frowns and takes the spot next to Shita leaning against the komainu. He watches the nine-tailed fox and the crow, who have wandered down the path a little after their game of chase, with a solemn expression.

They are silent for a few moments, with nothing but the occasional squawking of the crow when the fox nips at its feathers.

“I’m going to marry Anko-chan,” Iruka says quietly. Shita doesn’t respond, but Iruka knows he’s listening. “It was arranged between her family and Sandaime-sama a year ago. We will be married on my eighteenth birthday, and she’s supposed to bear my child as soon as possible after that day. The same day, if they had their way. It’s the only way they can assure there will be an heir to the Raikiri no Yoki.”

“Were your parents joined through an arranged marriage?” Shita’s voice has lost its amusement, quiet just like Iruka’s.

“No. Before…” Iruka has never been good with talking about his parents. He still misses them gravely, and rehashing old memories still makes his throat tighten up. “Before the last attack, it had been a whole fifty years since Tsukiyomi appeared. Before that, it had been over a century. Sandaime thinks the timeframes are getting shorter, and since he’s my guardian, he’s taking measures to ensure there will always be a Raikiri no Yoki.”

“Do you think it’s unfair?” Iruka thinks that underneath the curiosity in Shita’s tone, there is something sharper.

Iruka doesn’t know what to say. Deep down, he knows that Sandaime has every reason to set up the arranged marriage. The role of Raikiri no Yoki has always been in Iruka’s bloodline, and the only way to ensure there would be a vessel for the great Lightning Cutter and summoner of Sharingan no Kakashi would be through force. He knows Sandaime is only looking out for the village. Even if Iruka could never fall in love with Anko, he supposes it could be much worse. He could’ve been betrothed to the fish merchant’s daughter with the droopy eye that smelled like trout every day at school.

“Marrying Anko-chan isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me,” Iruka says.

“Are you going to accept that fate so willingly?” Iruka is surprised to distinguish the sharpness he detected in Shita’s voice before as anger.

“It’s the only fate I have,” Iruka replies quietly. “To protect this village, my friends, my family, I _have_ to accept my fate. My life is meaningless compared to the entire village.”

“Don’t say that!”

Iruka is startled when he’s suddenly whirled to face Shita. Shita’s hands are heavy on his shoulders, and even in the decreasing light of afternoon-turn-evening, Iruka can see the intensity in Shita’s eye.

“Don’t you ever say your life is meaningless, Iruka,” Shita practically growls. He is angry, and Iruka can’t fight how amazing that makes him feel. Despite all the friends he’s made over the years, or how close to Sandaime and Asuma he’s become, none of them have been able to make him feel as important as Shita has.

“If I have anything to do with it,” Shita continues, “you will live a long, happy life.”

Iruka believes him.

**-x-x-x-**

Iruka is sixteen when Anko kisses him, and he feels nothing.

He knows Anko has a crush on him. He knows that she is looking forward to the marriage, and despite all of the kicks to the face he’s received on her behalf, he knows that Anko is in love with him and wants him to love her back.

But he doesn’t.

The kiss is the most awkward thing he’s experienced in his life. Anko pulls him aside in the hallway at school between classes, pushing him into a hidden alcove away from prying eyes before slamming her lips against his. Their teeth clash and Iruka’s lips ache uncomfortably from being smashed against Anko’s. The kiss lasts for only a few seconds, but Anko is the only one participating. Iruka’s eyes are wide open and his hands are flitting at his sides, unsure of what to do in this situation. He’s just about to push Anko away when she separates from him, glaring at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I am _so sorry_ , Anko –“

“Don’t bother,” she cuts him off. “I was just making sure.”

“It’s not you,” Iruka tries to clarify, but Anko just shakes her head and flicks her hand in front of his face in a dismissive manner. “I’m serious! I’m not – I’m not even sure I like... _girls_.”

“Of course,” Anko snorts, crossing her arms over her chest. “The good ones are always gay. Plus, if you weren’t a butt pirate, there’s _no way_ you wouldn’t have been into that kiss.”

Iruka splutters when the words “butt pirate” come out of Anko’s mouth.

“Don’t call me that!”

“What? Butt pirate? Pfft, I probably knew you were into men before you even did.”

“Please, Anko-chan, you can’t tell anyone.” Iruka can hear the plea in his own voice. If Sandaime – or even the village – found out the Raikiri no Yoki was gay, then everyone would freak out. It would be considered a risk to his bloodline, and he couldn’t even imagine what he’d be forced to do to produce an heir. It would probably be much worse than marrying Anko.

Anko slaps the back of his head.

“Why would I do that?” She’s looking at him like he just told her to run naked throughout the school – though he’s not entirely sure Anko would refuse.

“Because I don’t feel the same way about you that you do about me.” Iruka feels a little uncomfortable saying that. Even though Anko can be a handful sometimes, he doesn’t want to hurt her.

“Ha! I’ll get over it,” she says dismissively. “Plus, you’re my friend. Maybe even my best friend. I wouldn’t do that to you.” Iruka thinks that’s the nicest thing she’s ever said to him.

“So…you’re not upset?”

“About what? That you don’t love me? Or that we still have to get married and make babies?” Iruka cringes at the “make babies” part.

“Um…both?”

Anko snorts.

“It sounds like you’re in a worse boat than I am, Iruka.” And suddenly, Anko’s eyes are filled with something he’s seen on many of the other villager’s faces throughout his lifetime: pity.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He twists his mouth to the side in annoyance. He hates being pitied. There’s nothing he can do about his fate, so why worry about it anymore?

“No matter what,” Anko begins, serious and intense and very un-Anko-like, “I’m here for you. We’re smart. We can make the best of this fucked up situation we’re in.” Iruka’s face must have portrayed the relief he feels at Anko’s words because she hugs him tightly and gives him a chaste kiss on his temple.

“Plus, I know who you have a crush on~” she sing-songs into his ear, and Iruka is spluttering again.

“I don’t have a crush on anyone!”

“Oh really?” Anko teases, backing up away from him with that mischievous grin she’s famous for. “Are you sure you don’t have a crush on a certain priest who wears a mask and only comes around once in a blue moon?”

“Who are you -?” Iruka is honestly confused for a moment before it clicks. “Shita-san? Have you been talking to Asuma?”

“Ha! You told Asuma?”

“I didn’t tell anyone anything because there is nothing to tell!”

Anko teases him some more until Iruka is red-faced and all the awkward tension between them dissipates. Unbeknownst to them, this marks the start of an inseparable friendship.

**-x-x-x-**

Right before Iruka's seventeenth birthday, he is able to summon the third shikigami – a feisty ferret with bright green eyes that bullies the fox into submission every time she’s around him, and slinks around the crow as much as possible. The ferret is abnormally large, reaching Iruka’s chest when she stands on her hind legs. She is extremely affectionate with Iruka.

The fox always whines when Iruka gives the ferret too much attention, though, jumping in and headbutting Iruka's hand to be petted.

The crow is unaffected.

**-x-x-x-**

There are six more months before Iruka’s eighteenth birthday, and he still can’t summon the fourth shikigami.

He is sitting cross-legged in front of his parents’ memorial, underneath a clear, blue sky. For as long as he can remember, he’s had lunch at his parents’ memorial once a month. Today, he’d packed a small picnic of fresh fruit and sandwiches – enough for all three of them. He only eats his portion, and even though the rest of the food is left untouched, he has high hopes that his parents are able to share this meal with him in the Land of Spirits. After finishing his meal, he pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them tightly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Iruka says to his parents’ graves. “I’ve been training with Sandaime, but no matter how much I focus or how hard I work, I can’t get past this last barrier.” He reaches out and lets his fingers roam over the characters of his mother’s name, then his father’s. “I’m supposed to perform the Kuchiyose Ritual at my wedding to demonstrate my ability to summon Sharingan no Kakashi, but I don’t know if I’ll make it in time.”

He imagines his mother is right beside him, her lips quirked up into that all-knowing smile she always had when he was younger. She does not say anything, just smiles at him brightly. His father is standing behind her with a hand on her shoulder, beaming down at his son. They radiate warmth and acceptance, and while Iruka always misses them more than anything in these moments, he feels reassured.

“I miss you mother, father,” he whispers, and he imagines them wrapping their arms around his shoulders. He closes his eyes, and he can almost feel their warmth. “I won’t let you down. No matter what, I will not fail as the Raikiri no Yoki.”

Their presence seems to grow warmer, and he basks in the heat, hugging his knees tighter. However, the heat becomes intense, and Iruka can suddenly hear crackling in the distance. He opens his eyes and gasps at the sight.

The memorial grounds are burning.

Iruka jumps to his feet, spinning around in a circle. Almost every square inch of the memorial grounds are in flames, and they are steadily moving toward him. Flowers and offerings left for the other graves burn to ashes as they are devoured by the fire, and even the headstones crumble under the intense heat. He is confused, unsure on how the ground could have caught on fire so quickly without him noticing, but he is surrounded by flame and can’t find a way out.

The heat becomes almost unbearable, and he falls to his knees as his chest tightens painfully. His eyes sting and he can’t speak. He’s terrified, paralyzed with fear, and all he can think is _I’ve let everyone down_.

The flames finally close in on him and lick at his skin. He screams in pain as his left arm is engulfed in flame and pulls it to his chest, trying to curl in on himself and delay his inevitable doom. For a moment, he forgets that in just a few seconds he’s going to suffer a very painful death when he glances at his arm and there are no burns. Even though he is sure his arm had been completely engulfed in fire, it is completely wound free. It doesn’t even hurt anymore.

He has no time to spare. He clasps his hands together, finger entwined except his forefinger and thumb. He closes his eyes tightly and focuses on his center. The flames surround his body, seconds away from consuming him entirely, and it takes a level of concentration he didn’t even know he had to ignore the pain and connect all the focal points in his body with the power in his veins before he shouts, “Kai!”

The heat vanishes.

Iruka opens his eyes to memorial grounds that are very _not_ on fire. Everything is as it was when he first arrived, from the flowers and offerings in front of the graves to the picnic basket at his side. There is no trace that a fire had ever happened, and Iruka is _furious_.

The release technique he just used to make the flames vanish, which Sandaime taught to him in the event “you confuse the real world with something untrue”, revealed that someone put the image of the burning memorial grounds in his head.

A genjutsu.

Iruka scans the grounds quickly, running between the graves to try and find the culprit. Genjutsu is a rare technique that has almost completely disappeared from this era, and whoever cast the genjutsu on him must be very powerful. He doesn’t understand why someone would use the technique and hide in the shadows – he knows there are enemies of Konoha that would love to take out the Raikiri no Yoki and let the village burn at the hands of Tsukiyomi, but if it was an enemy, they should have killed him by now.

He sees a shadow in his peripheral and stops in his tracks. There, in a large tree, is the silhouette of a man. In the shade of the tree, he cannot make out any distinguishing features, but he feels an ominous intent wash over him the moment he spots the figure.

Iruka knows it is stupid and dangerous, but he is absolutely pissed and he wants to make the culprit pay. He darts to the tree, fueled by the power still flowing through his connected focal points, and jumps up to the same branch where the silhouette is standing. He’s about to use the hidden kunai in his back pocket as a weapon when he freezes.

“Maa, Iruka-kun, it took you longer to find me than I expected. You should have been able to feel all that killing intent I sent your way before I put you under the genjutsu.”

Shita is looking at Iruka with a bored expression in his eye, leaning against the thick trunk of the tree with his arms crossed over his chest. Shita looks calm and nonchalant, as if he didn’t just attack Iruka with a technique only a handful of people in the world can use.

“However, I do commend you on breaking the jutsu,” Shita continues. “It was a low-level genjutsu – the flames wouldn’t leave burns or lasting pain. But men much stronger than you still would have had a hard time releasing their mind from my hold. Good job. You still need a lot more training on how to control and utilize your chakra, though.”

Iruka is torn. He can’t decide if he’s ecstatic that Shita has finally returned after two years, or if he’s beyond pissed that Shita would attack him like that. His confusion must show on his face because Shita’s bored expression becomes an amused one, and Shita walks over to Iruka and ruffles his hair. Iruka decides at that moment that he’s beyond pissed and moves to smack Shita’s hand away roughly. Shita disappears with that amazing speed of his, Iruka’s momentum throws him off balance and he falls off the branch. He cries out and shields his face, but he never connects with the ground. Instead, he suddenly stops falling and he’s enveloped in a familiar scent and strong arms and _is Shita really laughing at him right now_?

“Let me go!” Iruka flails in Shita’s arms, which only makes Shita laugh harder and unceremoniously dump Iruka to the ground with a dull thud. Iruka winces, rubbing his aching behind when he stands up and glares at Shita with as much fury as he can muster. “What the _hell_ is going on here?”

“Iruka-kun, you’re so angry~!” Shita sing-songs, and Iruka knows Shita is enjoying himself. Shita only uses “-kun” when he’s teasing Iruka or being affectionate. “Didn’t anyone tell you?”

“Tell me _what_?!” Iruka’s shouting has no effect on Shita’s amused demeanor.

“For the next six months, I will be your sensei.”

What?

“What?” Iruka’s mouth echoes his thoughts as he deadpans. Nothing is making sense. Shita’s amusement abates, though, and he watches Iruka carefully, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Your eighteenth birthday in six months, and you still can’t summon the fourth shikigami,” Shita says, and things start to click in Iruka’s mind. “Sarutobi-sama asked me if I’d be willing to train you in order to make sure you’d be able to perform the Final Kuchiyose before then.”

Iruka feels a small spark inside of him – joy? – but it is dimmed by his confusion.

“What does that have to do with you _attacking_ me like that? And how can you even use genjutsu?”

“I didn’t attack you,” Shita pouts, obviously put off by Iruka’s choice of words. “I was testing you. And you passed!” His eye crinkles happily in the corner. Iruka isn’t fooled.

“And the genjutsu?”

Something dark flashes in Shita’s eye, something Iruka doesn’t have a name for, but it’s gone just as quickly as it came.

“Maa, Iruka, I wouldn’t be a worthy sensei if I didn’t have skills, would I?”

Iruka frowns. He knows Shita is avoiding the question, and it leaves an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He trusts Shita, though. He has no other reason not to.

“So that means you’re staying?” Iruka can’t help if his tone sounds more hopeful than it should.

“Yes,” Shita says, and walks over to Iruka and ruffles his hair. Iruka beams and the uneasiness in his stomach is forced into a deep, dark corner of his sub-consciousness. 

**-x-x-x-**

“You mean…I have chakra?” Iruka knows he sounds silly repeating what Shita just told him, but it’s hard to wrap his mind around it.

“Of course,” Shita says brightly. They are in the shrine’s garden and Iruka is sitting cross-legged on the ground, watching Shita circle around him. “Everyone has chakra. Most people don’t know about it, though, and the people who do usually don’t have enough to utilize properly. People like you, though, have an abundant amount of chakra just waiting to be used.”

“I thought chakra disappeared with the shinobi,” Iruka muses out loud.

“Chakra is a part of nature,” Shita corrects. “It is in the earth we stand on, the air we breathe, and especially our bodies. Humans were able to perform amazing feats with their chakra, but only shinobi were trained well enough to use their chakra to its fullest extent. After the collapse of the shinobi system over fourteen hundred years ago, civilians forgot how to use their chakra, and soon, it became nothing but lore and bedtime stories.”

“So everyone has chakra, but they don’t know how to use it?”

“Correct.”

“And I have more chakra than other people?”

“That’s also correct.”

“So, you mean I’m powerful?” Iruka can’t help the excitement that washes over him.

“I wouldn’t say that, exactly,” Shita says, and Iruka frowns. Shita laughs. “Most of the chakra you have comes from the legendary Lightning Cutter sealed inside of you. Have you been able to sense the Raikiri?”

“Sense?”

“If you’ve been able to focus and mold your chakra correctly, you should be able to sense the Raikiri. You are borrowing its chakra, after all, so you should be able to make the distinction between what is your chakra and what is Raikiri’s chakra.”

Iruka doesn’t know if his frown can get any deeper. Even though he knows he’s the Raikiri no Yoki, and he has the seal to prove it, he’s never felt anything special inside of him. Now that he thinks about it, if there were something so powerful locked inside of him, then he should be able to sense it…right?

“I can practically hear you thinking, Iruka-kun,” Shita teases, and Iruka crinkles his nose in annoyance. “That’s most likely the reason why you haven’t been able to summon the fourth shikigami. You don’t have a connection with Raikiri, so you’re not able to use your chakra properly to complete the Kuchiyose Ritual. It’s a wonder how you were able to summon the first three in the first place.”

“Maybe I _am_ that powerful after all.” Iruka crosses his arms and tilts his nose up. That’ll show Shita for saying he’s nothing but a chakra-freeloader. 

“Or dumb luck,” Shita says, and Iruka twists his mouth in annoyance. He stands up then, placing his hands on his hips.

“Well then, Shita- _sensei_ , how are we going to fix it?”

“Calligraphy.” Shita pulls out a calligraphy brush and paper from kami-knows-where and happily arches his eye. Iruka begins to wonder if Sandaime made a mistake in hiring Shita.

**-x-x-x-**

Two months have passed since Shita took on the role of Iruka’s sensei, and Iruka is slightly confused. He feels like he’s been making progress with his chakra training – summoning his three shikigami has become easier and faster, and he can now summon them individually if he chooses. Iruka feels like the constant summoning practice Shita has him doing is responsible for that, but he doesn’t understand the rest of his training. Kata, meditation, and calligraphy? What does that have to do with chakra?

Iruka sighs. Such heavy thinking shouldn’t take place so early in the morning, he thinks. The sun is barely begin to rise over Mount Hokage, painting a gradient of reds and oranges across the morning sky. It is nice and mild outside for a winter morning, and Iruka is making his way to the shrine garden to do some stretching. There are still three hours before his scheduled training with Shita, but he’s been feeling restless lately and didn’t get much sleep last night. Despite the lack of sleep, he woke up feeling jittery and on edge, as if something was looming over his shoulder, ready to pounce.

The fox and ferret are following him, playing the entire way. Or, he thinks they’re playing – it’s mostly the ferret pinning the fox down with a growl (he didn’t even know ferrets could growl) whenever the fox sidles up too close to her. Of course, the fox never learns his lesson and always gets too close. The crow, despite its size, flies a few meters above Iruka’s head, circling them lazily and keeping one of his beady red eyes on them at all times. The crow isn’t as affectionate with Iruka as the fox and ferret, but the crow always keeps in close proximity, watching Iruka and their surroundings closely, as if guarding him.

Iruka summoned them to burn off some of the extra energy he’d been feeling, and it took some of the edge off after he used the necessary chakra. Seeing his shikigami also helped calm his nerves – recently, they’ve become just as important to him as Anko or Sandaime.

Or Shita.

Iruka finds himself smiling. It’s wonderful to have Shita around all the time now. Shita lives at the shrine, and whenever Iruka isn’t at school or doing his chores, he’s training with Shita. After training, they have meals together and have long discussions about the different children Iruka tutors, or the lessons Iruka is being taught in school, or the three different ways Anko managed to kick Iruka in the face that week. Sometimes, they talk about chakra and shinobi lore and the history of Konoha.

Sometimes, Iruka tells Shita memories of his parents.

Iruka doesn’t realize he’s stopped walking until he feels something nudge his hand. He looks down and sees the crow standing next to him, nudging Iruka’s hand with its beak. The fox and ferret are also watching him, their heads tilted to the side in concern. Iruka can’t help but smile.

“I’m fine, guys,” Iruka says gently, and the fox bounds over to him, jumping up to put its front paws on Iruka’s stomach. Iruka is pretty sure that foxes are supposed to be sly, cunning predators, but this fox is just a goofy cuddle-monger with its tongue constantly sticking out. Iruka laughs and pets the fox, and laughs even harder when the ferret tackles the fox down and comes back to receive Iruka’s affections for herself. Even though the crow is looking away diligently, Iruka thinks the crow leans its head in a little when Iruka pets it too.

“It’s time for you guys to go for right now,” he tells them after he’s done petting them, and the fox runs circles around him, whining the whole time. Iruka shakes his head, though he’s smiling. “I’ll see you later on.” He releases them, and they disappear with a puff of smoke. Iruka can now feel a small part of him clicking into place when he releases them. It’s as if that small part is detached when he summons them, and returns when he sends them back. He would have never noticed that without Shita’s chakra training. 

Iruka is musing over what Shita has planned for today’s training – more calligraphy, _how interesting_ – when he reaches the garden. There is a spot, secluded by the various flowers and trees in the garden, that he likes to stretch and meditate at. He stops in his tracks, though, when before he emerges from a thick cluster of bushes that helps to seclude the area, he sees someone already in the clearing.

It’s Shita.

And he’s only wearing his hakama.

Iruka doesn’t move. He doesn’t even breathe. Shita, bare chested and wearing a handkerchief over his face, is going through a set of kata at an agonizingly slow pace. Iruka thinks he is cooling down since despite the temperate morning air, Shita’s chest glistens with sweat. Iruka watches as Shita moves with grace he’s never seen before, moving through the kata with liquidity and precision. Iruka can see every muscle in Shita’s lean body twist and conform to his movement, from the whipcords of his arms to the ridges of his abdominal muscles.

Shita is beautiful.

Iruka clenches his fists. He wants to run away. Being caught with a semi by Shita from watching him do kata would be the absolute worst thing in the world that could happen to him, but he can’t tear his eyes away from Shita’s body. He doesn’t want to comprehend what that even means right now, and he’s about to finally escape when Shita does something beyond Iruka’s wildest imagination.

Shita completes his kata, performs some hand seals too fast for Iruka to see, bites his thumb and slams it to the ground. A seal glows bright red around Shita’s feet, and there’s a pop and a puff of smoke. The smoke clears quickly, revealing eight dogs surrounding Shita.

The dogs immediately begin to bark and jump all over Shita excitedly, tackling him to the floor. Iruka’s eyes widen as Shita lets them, petting them all affectionately and talking to each one of them. He can’t hear what he’s saying, but Iruka swears the dogs look like they understand what Shita is telling them. The dogs sniff Shita all over, snorting into his hair and burying their noses in his crotch. Iruka can hear Shita laughing, and Iruka’s entire body flushes with heat.

One of the dogs is sniffing Shita’s hand when it perks its head up and sniffs the air. The dog has tan fur and…is it wearing _sunglasses_? Iruka doesn’t have much time to ponder over that before the dog is barreling right for him, and before Iruka knows it, he’s flat on his back on the ground and his face is being attacked by a wet dog-tongue.

Iruka hears excited barking, and before Iruka can defend himself seven other tongues join the first, including a massive one from a giant bulldog. Iruka cries out, trying to shield himself from the onslaught of dog saliva. He hears laughing and a high whistle, and there’s another pop like before and the licking stops.

Iruka takes a deep breath and lets his arms drop to his sides. He stares at the sky, now bright and blue and clear, trying to comprehend what just happened before the sky is blocked out by Shita’s face. He’s still bare chested and looks absolutely pleased with himself.

“Were those yours?” Iruka asks when he can’t come up with anything else.

“Yup, all of them,” Shita says, extending his hand. Iruka takes it and lets Shita pull him up. He tries not to stare at Shita’s chest or shoulders while Shita brushes off stray leaves from Iruka’s clothes and hair. Shita holds some of Iruka’s hair loosely in his fingertips – Iruka wears his hair down whenever he’s not at school or training. “Maa, Iruka-kun, has anyone told you that you have beautiful hair?”

Iruka is pretty sure his face is completely red.

“A-Anko-chan tells me my hair changes color in the sun,” Iruka manages to say. Shita is so close to him. It wouldn’t take much for Iruka to reach out and run his fingertips over Shita’s collarbone…

“Anko-chan, hm?” There’s something different in Shita’s voice that Iruka can’t quite name, and Shita lets Iruka’s hair fall back down to his shoulders. “Why don’t we get some breakfast?”

Iruka only nods, following Shita out of the garden and to the kitchens, completely forgetting he was supposed to stretch.

**-x-x-x-**

“You’re so wonderful with children!”

“Has anyone ever told you that you should become a teacher?”

“Junto-kun’s grades have never been better ever since you started tutoring him, Iruka-kun!”

Iruka just nods and grins, rubbing the back of his neck. The mothers of the children he tutors have surrounded him outside of the school and are cooing over him like he’s a cute puppy.

“You’ve been looking good, too, Iruka-kun! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this happy.”

“And look at those arms! Has Sarutobi-sama been working you hard lately?”

“Asuma-kun is going to have some competition for the most handsome son in the Sarutobi clan!”

Iruka just laughs and nods some more. He knows his face must be flaming, but the mothers pay it no mind. He doesn’t dare correct that even though he was officially and legally accepted into the Sarutobi clan, he will _always_ be Umino Iruka.

The group of mothers fuss over him a little bit more until their children whine about how hungry they are and Iruka-kun needs to go home now, mom! They wave at him happily, both children and parent, and leave their separate ways. Iruka beams at them until they all disappear, and a small smile still lingers after they’re gone.

He loves children. There has never been any doubt in his mind that he was meant to bring knowledge to the children of Konoha, and it never fails to make his heart swell every time one of the students he tutors beams up at him. For as long as he can, he will dedicate his life to teaching the younger minds of Konoha all he knows.

“You must really love kids, Iruka.”

Iruka cries out and spins around. Shita is standing behind him – and terribly close, too – with one hand raised and a happy arch in his eye.

“Yo.”

“You scared me, Shita-san! What are you doing here?”

“Maa, I was walking down the road of life and it brought me here,” Shita says, and Iruka only nods. Shita says weird things like this all the time – like how he once split a lightning bolt in half, or how his best friend is a wood nymph – and Iruka is used to it. “Are you done for the day?”

“Yes, Shita-san,” Iruka says and nods.

“Then let’s walk to the shrine together.”

Iruka agrees with a smile. He usually walks home with Anko, and sometimes Asuma if he’s not training, but on the days he tutors the younger children Anko goes home early and Iruka has to walk home by himself. It will be nice to have some company, especially if it’s Shita.

 _Especially, huh_?

Iruka shushes the voice in his head as he and Shita make their way down the Konoha River toward the shrine. They walk in companionable silence for most of the trip, but before long, Iruka is asking Shita questions. Where does he go when he’s not in the village? Where is his home? How old is he? How did he become so powerful? Why does he wear an eye patch and face mask? Iruka receives the usual responses – he goes to visit the wood nymph and travel the different lands, his home is where his heart is, you should never ask a man his age, Iruka-kun, he had a powerful sensei who he was more than lucky to study under and if the miko ever got to see his whole face all at once, they’d all drop dead.

Iruka isn’t surprised with Shita’s answers. If Iruka has learned anything about the man over the last four months – besides how much he loves miso soup with eggplant, and wool socks – it’s that he values his privacy. Iruka doesn’t know very much about Shita’s past, but that is just simply Shita’s way. Iruka trusts him, and Sandaime trusts him. That’s all that matters.

They reach the shrine and Shita takes the lead up the stairs. Iruka makes sure to stand close to one side of the stairs since there is a priest – a visitor, since Iruka doesn’t recognize him – making his way down the steps as they go up. Iruka is in the middle of teasing Shita about the real reason he wears a mask – you have buck teeth, don’t you? – when they’re about to pass the visiting priest. However, before their paths cross, Shita comes to an abrupt stop and reaches back, shoving Iruka behind him with one hand and grabbing the priest’s throat with the other. Iruka is disoriented for a moment, holding on tightly to Shita’s robes, before he hears weird gurgling noises. He peeks out from behind Shita and his eyes widen in horror.

Shita is strangling the priest.

The priest’s feet are dangling in the air from the way Shita is holding him. Iruka can’t comprehend the strength it must take to lift a full-grown man off the ground with just one hand. The priests face is red as he chokes. The priest is clawing at Shita’s hand, trying to find purchase and escape, but Shita remains unperturbed. The fierce determination in Shita’s eye, mixed with anger and the same _something_ he saw the day he asked Shita how he knew genjutsu, make one thing clear: Shita is going to kill this man.

“Shita-san, stop!” Iruka latches onto Shita’s arm, trying to break his hold to no avail. “You’re killing him, Shita-san! Let him go!”

Shita does not let go. His face seems to close in a little, and all the light disappears from his one visible eye, leaving an endless void of anger and killing intent.

“Shita-san!” Iruka is screaming now, his voice cresting on a sob as he pounds on Shita’s shoulders. Shita is going to kill this man and he doesn’t know why and it’s going to be all his fault if he can’t stop him. Iruka is scared and shaking and all he wants is for Shita to stop this madness and go back to normal. “Shita-san, stop! _Please_!”

The priest falls to the stone steps, face first, with a sickening crunch. Iruka is almost positive the priest's nose is now broken. Iruka is relieved that Shita is no longer choking the man to death, but his relief is short lived when Shita put his foot on the priests head and begins to press down.

“For fuck’s sake, Shita-san, what are you doing?!” Iruka knows he sounds hysterical. His sensei, his _friend_ , went from joking dork to mindless murderer in less than a second, and he’s _terrified_.

“This man was going to kill you,” Shita finally says, his voice rough and gravelly, as if he’d been yelling all day. Shita’s nostrils are flared and his breathing is heavy.

“What are you talking about? He didn’t do anything! He was just walking down the stairs!”

“There are senbon and a lethal poison in his robes, along with an encoded scroll from Iwagakure with orders to kill you on sight. If you don’t believe me, check his robes.” Shita still isn’t looking at Iruka, leaning a little more into his foot. Iruka hears more crunching and it sends terrible shivers down his spine. Iruka’s stomach turns at the sound.

“I believe you!” Iruka does, he really does. Even though he doesn’t understand _how_ Shita knows the man is from Iwa, he doesn’t doubt Shita in the slightest. “But you need to let him go. You’re killing him!”

“He was going to _kill you_!” Shita is yelling now, and finally looking at him, and Iruka’s breath hitches because he’s never seen Shita look so pissed. Shita is heaving, and Iruka is glad Shita had to take his foot off the priest’s head to face him or he’s sure the priest would be dead by now. “Everything would be for nothing! Your training, your betrothal, your parents’ sacrifice for the village. Konoha would be doomed because of this filth!”

“But I’m okay,” Iruka says in calming tones, even if they are tinged with slight hysteria. “I’m okay, Shita-san, because _you saved me_.” Iruka thinks the adrenaline pumping through his veins makes him bold, because without it, he would never step close to Shita, take Shita’s face into his hands and press their foreheads together – which he just did. He keeps his eyes focused on Shita’s face, deliberately breathing slow, calm breaths. He can’t express how happy he is that Shita doesn’t push him away.

“You saved me, Shita-san,” Iruka repeats softly. “You stopped him and he’s going to pay, I promise you. But you can’t kill him.”

“He was going to –“

“I know,” Iruka interrupts. He really does understand the gravity of the situation, but this isn’t the way to solve it. Even if it is the first attempt on his life so far, he doesn’t think the death of one Iwa spy will solve everything. “I know. But please, don’t kill him. Please.”

Shita’s breathing is beginning to slow down and Iruka can’t help but trail one hand along Shita’s neck in calming strokes. It seems to help, and soon, light begins to return to Shita’s eye.

“Please,” Iruka whispers, and finally, Shita nods. Shita pulls away, watching Iruka the whole time. Iruka’s heart is pounding in his chest and ears as they watch each other for long moments before Shita finally turns away to kick the Iwa spy onto his back. Iruka was right – the spy’s nose is broken and bleeding profusely all over his face and robes. Iruka sees a few senbon spill out of the spy’s robes as he’s turned over by Shita’s foot.

“Go tell Sarutobi-sama what’s happened,” Shita orders, his voice still rough. “I’m going to take him to the authorities.”

“Shita-san,” Iruka says, because he can’t think of anything else. Shita sighs and nods before squatting down and lifting the unconscious spy onto his shoulders. Shita hoists the spy up and turns to face Iruka again. With one last glance to Iruka, Shita make his way down the steps.

**-x-**

He could have died today.

Iruka frowns up at the night sky. The stars are bright and the moon is full, and Iruka is lying down in the secluded spot in the garden trying to sort out everything that happened that day.

He could have died, and _everything_ would have been ruined.

Iruka knows Shita was right. If Iruka died today at the hands of the Iwa spy, there would be no telling what would have happened. Since the beginning, the Raikiri has been in Iruka’s bloodline, passed down through the generations through death or sacrifice. He doesn’t understand quite how it works – he woke up the day after the last Tsukiyomi attack with the seal below his navel etched into his skin with no memory on how it got there. He knew it was there because of his mother’s sacrifice, but what would happen if he were to die without an heir? Would Konoha be doomed, just like Shita said?

_Shita-san…_

He remembers racing up the stone steps on wobbly legs, crashing through Sandaime’s office doors and stuttering everything out in one loud gasp. Sandaime only looked at him with sympathy and patted his shoulder, telling Iruka to go relax and that training was cancelled for the day before disappearing from the shrine for the rest of the afternoon. It was nearing midnight now, and Iruka hasn’t seen Sandaime or Shita since.

Iruka is frightened. His hands haven’t stopped shaking, and he keeps thinking, _I could have died. I could be dead right now._ It’s enough to make his stomach twist in fear. He always thought that when he dies, it will be at the hands of Sharingan no Kakashi, sacrificing his body to protect the village. It would be a travesty if he died any other way.

Long moments pass before Iruka hears rustling in the bushes. He doesn’t look away from the stars when the source of the rustling comes to a stop next to him and takes a seat on the ground. Iruka doesn’t know if he can face him yet, but after long moments of silence that become too uncomfortable to bear, Iruka finally tears his gaze away from the sky and looks at Shita.

Shita looks ragged. His hair is limp and his clothes are wrinkled. His eye is half-lidded with exhaustion. Shita isn’t looking at Iruka, but up at the sky, just like Iruka had been doing. Iruka takes more than a couple extra minutes to watch Shita, taking in how the moonlight makes his hair look inky and the how his jaw is strongly set through the cloth of his mask.

“Ask.”

Shita is the one who breaks the silence, but doesn’t look at Iruka. Iruka waits a couple of heartbeats before asking, “How did you know he was an Iwa spy?”

“I have a lot of experience,” Shita says, his voice low and tinged with his exhaustion. “I can see things many people can’t.” 

Iruka knows it’s an elusive answer, but doesn’t pry.

“Were you going to kill him?”

“Absolutely.” 

Iruka flinches.

"Why did you stop?”

Shita’s eyes drop from the sky to the ground, and Iruka watches as Shita’s dark eyebrows furrow together. Finally, he looks at Iruka, their gazes locking.

“Because you asked me to.”

They just stare at each other for long, silent moments before Iruka gathers the courage to ask the question he absolutely needs to know the answer to. “Do you kill a lot of people, Shita-san?”

“Only those who threaten what is mine.”

Iruka doesn’t know what to make of it. If that’s true, then does that make him Shita’s? Shita’s _what_ , exactly? Iruka can only fathom that he is Shita’s student, and if it’s anything like the way he feels toward the younger children he tutors, then Shita is very protective of him. That doesn’t stop his heartbeat from pounding restlessly against his ribcage.

Iruka breaks eye contact with Shita and lifts himself up, brushing leaves off of his clothes before leaning back on his arms, watching the night sky in companionable silence. He thinks about the attempted assassination, he thinks about his parents, he thinks about his duty to Konoha as the Raikiri no Yoki.

He doesn’t remember closing his eyes or how much time has passed, only the sound of the air swishing around his ears as he’s lifted from the ground. He’s overwhelmed by something intense and familiar. The scent of steel and the relaxing warmth of Shita’s chest pressed against Iruka’s cheek calms his frayed nerves. Shita holds him close the entire time, and Iruka dozes off again, waking just enough once he’s in his futon to feel the brush of cool, dry fingertips against his cheek. His last thought before falling asleep is that it would be a very bad idea to fall in love with Shita.

**-x-x-x-**

“Are you gaining weight, Iruka-kun?” Anko pokes and prods at Iruka’s body while they walk home from school. Anko always walks with him to the shrine before departing to her own home. Ever since the attempt on his life two weeks ago, Iruka has never been alone – from Anko or Asuma walking him from school every day, even if he stays for tutoring, to Shita never letting him out of his sight when he’s at the shrine. He hasn’t been able to venture out into Konoha by himself since then, and even though it’s annoying, Iruka is actually grateful. He still gets chills when he thinks about the Iwa spy. 

“Anko-chan, it’s rude to ask people if they’re gaining weight,” Iruka chides, even though he knows Anko isn’t listening when she pokes his stomach. Anko winces when she pokes him, though, cradling her finger to her chest.

“Do you have a washboard under there or something? And look at your arms! You _have_ to tell me what you’re taking to get those kinds of results.”

“I’m not taking anything,” Iruka huffs. He has noticed his clothes have been fitting him a little tighter, but he didn’t pay any mind to it. “Shita-san just makes me run and do a lot of pushups. Says it’s good for my ‘physical chakra’ or something like that.”

“Cheater. Your magic chakra is making you all buff while we common folk have to _diet_ like everyone else.”

Iruka yells something about how he’s not a cheater and Anko is just jealous, and Anko argues that she’s going to feel fat and useless next to him at the wedding and Iruka screams that maybe if she would keep her grubby paws off of all that dango then she wouldn’t have to worry about that and Anko yells take that back, Iruka-kun and is that Shitani-san?

Iruka hadn’t realized they were already in front of the tori gates of the shrine. He turns towards the steps, suppressing chill that travels down his spine when he remembers the events from two weeks ago, but he does spot a figure making its way down the steps. Clad in all black with a mask and black hair falling into his eyes? Yup, that's Shita.

“Maybe I should ask him if he’s noticed how muscular you’ve become lately,” Anko whispers conspiratorially into Iruka’s ear.

“If you say anything, the village won’t be able to find your body for weeks,” Iruka hisses back, but Anko only grins in response. Iruka is about to bring her down a notch when Shita walks right by them. Shita doesn’t say anything to either of them – he doesn’t even glance their way. Iruka notices he’s walking a little stiffer than usual, even if he’s still giving off an air of boredom.

“Shita-san!” Iruka calls, but Shita keeps walking without acknowledging Iruka. Iruka stares at Shita’s retreating form until he disappears around a corner. Something in his chest is tight with…hurt?

“That was weird,” Anko says, her hands on her hips. “He totally blew you off.”

Iruka doesn’t even bother to argue, because that’s exactly what Shita did. He doesn’t understand, but he has training with Shita later that afternoon, so he’ll ask Shita then. Maybe he had something important to attend to?

“Well, you have fun with that,” Anko says and claps him on the back. They say their goodbyes, kissing each other on the cheek before Anko makes her way home. Iruka tries not to think too much about Shita’s behavior, but he’s already thinking of worse-case scenarios by the time he reaches the top of the steps, only to be met by Sandaime.

“I’ve been waiting for you, Iruka-kun,” Sandaime says around his pipe. He looks grave, even though he is smiling. “Follow me.”

“Yes, Sandaime-sama,” Iruka says and bows, following Sandaime to his office. Iruka closes the door behind him and sits on his knees on the zabuton in front of Sandaime. Sandaime pours them both tea, and Iruka sips gratefully. The familiar smell of the office and the tea eases Iruka’s nerves. It’s been a while since he’s been in here, and even longer since he’s had a decent conversation with Sandaime.

“How is your training going?” Sandaime asks after they make small talk about Iruka’s schooling.

“It’s great,” Iruka responds, sipping at his tea. “I feel like I have more control over my chakra than ever before, and everything is starting to click in place. I feel like I should be able to summon the fourth shikigami soon.”

“There are only two more months until the wedding,” Sandaime warns, although it is light. Iruka nods.

“I believe with Shita-san’s help, I will be able to perform the Final Kuchiyose in no time.”

“Do you like Shita?” 

Iruka blinks, trying not to spit out his tea. Iruka knows Sandaime is asking the question the same way he would ask Iruka if he liked miso, but still...

“I like him just fine,” Iruka says with a nod.

“Are you two close?”

“Close?” He doesn’t know much about Shita’s past, but he feels like he knows a lot about the current Shita – his favorite food, how he hates mornings but gets up bright and early anyway, how his eye darkens into a pool of ink when he’s lost in thought. He knows Shita is loyal and brimming with a power Iruka can’t comprehend, and he likes to tease Iruka mercilessly at every opportunity he gets.

He knows Shita would kill for him.

“We’re friends,” Iruka says at last. “But I don’t know how close we are.”

“Ah,” Sandaime says, taking a long drag from his pipe. “You shouldn’t get close to him, Iruka-kun.”

Iruka’s brows furrow in confusion. “Why not?”

“It would be best if you didn’t make many attachments. It will only make it harder on you when the time comes for you to fulfill your ultimate duty to the village.”

Iruka feels like the wind has been knocked out of him.

“I know that, Sandaime-sama,” Iruka says quietly, looking down at the teacup in his hand. “I understand how that might be worrisome to you, but my friends only help strengthen my resolve. Without them, I wouldn’t have anyone to protect.”

“Shita does not need any protecting.”

Iruka grips his teacup harder.

“What are you trying to tell me, Sandaime-sama?”

“Your focus should be on training and the Final Kuchiyose, not making friends with your sensei.”

“You mean preparing myself for the slaughter?” Iruka yells, and he didn’t realize how much Sandaime’s words were affecting him until he’d thrown his teacup cross the room. Sandaime remains unfazed.

“You know how important you are to the village,” Sandaime says calmly, and Iruka clenches his fists. “Blurring the lines in your relationship with Shita will only make things more complicated, and I can guarantee you that it will only end in heartache.”

“How can you say that?” Iruka can feel his face crumpling. He hasn’t cried in a very long time, but this feels very much like betrayal and a betrayal from Sandaime is something he can’t handle. “You have already dictated who I must marry and _breed_ with, and you want to control who my friends are? Why are you doing this?”

“It’s for your own good.”

“With all due respect, Sandaime-sama, you’re full of shit.” Iruka stands, bows, and leaves.

**-x-**

“I bet Sandaime told him something,” Iruka mutters to himself as he stalks the shrine’s grounds. It’s well after his bedtime, but he can’t sleep. The same restless energy he’s been feeling lately hasn’t gone away, even though he’s already summoned his shikigami and gone through a long set of kata for the day. Shita didn’t show up for training, only sending a miko with word that they would resume normal lessons the next day.

“I bet that’s the reason he didn’t say anything to me earlier,” Iruka continues to mutter, paying no mind to his surroundings. “Sandaime ordered him to be a jerk or something so I wouldn’t talk to him anymore.”

Iruka still doesn’t understand why Sandaime said those things. Up until now, everything seemed to be going smoothly with his training. Was it because Shita got violent with the Iwa spy? Was Sandaime trying to protect him from Shita lashing out on him? No, Shita would never hurt him. Shita was powerful, but Iruka was confident that Shita would never hurt him.

Iruka is nearing the entrance to the shrine when a strange feeling comes over him. It reverberates through his bones, and he has the sudden urge to _look up_. He does, and spots Shita passing the tori gate as he enters the shrine.

“Shita-san!” Iruka calls, bounding up to him. He feels light-hearted at finally being able to see Shita and get this weight off of his chest. “You won’t believe what Sandaime-sama told me to – what’s wrong?”

Shita stopped walking when Iruka ran up to him, but he hasn’t made eye contact with Iruka. He looks bored and is giving off weird vibes. He looks like he wants to be anywhere else but in Iruka’s presence.

“Nothing.”

“Shita-san, where were you going earlier?”

“Nowhere.”

“Are you angry?”

“No.”

Iruka is confused. Shita is looking everywhere except at him, and even if Shita has been elusive with Iruka’s questions in the past, he’s never been so short with him. Iruka frowns, stepping closer to Shita.

“Did…did I do something wrong?”

That’s when Shita lets out a laugh colder than ice and finally makes eye contact with Iruka. Iruka can’t suppress the shiver that runs down his spine.

“What makes you think anything you could do would possibly affect me?”

Iruka reels back as if he’s been hit. “I don’t understand, Shita-san.”

Shita huffs in amusement. 

“Did you think we were friends, Iruka-kun?”

“I…”

“Maa, you’re even dimmer than I thought. Sarutobi-sama hired me from the very beginning to watch over you and make sure your chakra was developing properly. I was only asked to stay full time when you couldn’t summon the fourth shikigami on your own.”

“Wha –“

“Once you can perform the Final Kuchiyose, my duty here is done. I won’t have to come back here ever again.” Shita steps closer to Iruka, too close for comfort. Iruka’s fists are clenched and he’s trying not to let the unshed tears stinging his eyes fall down his cheeks. Is this what Sandaime was talking about?

“Did Sandaime-sama tell you something?” Iruka says, and internally chastises himself when he hears his voice waver. “Did he tell you to –“

“I don’t need Sarutobi-sama to tell me anything, Iruka,” Shita says, and Iruka can feel his breath against his neck. “You are my student. I am paid to train you, and that is all.”

Something inside of Iruka breaks.

“I am sorry I have taken up so much of your time, Shitani-sensei,” Iruka whispers. “I will let you enjoy your night.” He steps back and bows, before turning on his heel and heading for his room. He doesn’t look back. It isn’t until he’s in his room with the door shut that he collapses on his futon, not bothering with his clothes. All he can think is _Sandaime was right and I’m a fool_ , and sleep doesn’t come for a long time.

**-x-x-x-**

“I swear, Iruka, if you don’t stop moving your leg, I’m going to shove my foot so far up your –“

“I’m sorry, Anko-chan,” Iruka interrupts and stops shaking his leg. He feels like he has tons of energy to burn, and there’s something niggling in the back of his head, like a whisper he can hear but can’t understand. It’s driving him insane. Anko just narrows her eyes at him, letting the apple she’d been eating hang limply from her fingers.

“What’s up with you, anyway?”

“What are you talking about?” Iruka looks away from her to the gravestones in front of him. They are eating lunch in front of his parents’ graves, and he traces each character of his parents’ names with his eyes.

“You’re all jittery and moody and if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were on your moon-cycle.”

“That’s gross.” Iruka wrinkles his nose in distaste. Only girls have moon-cycles. Something to do with having babies or something like that, but he tries to avoid the subject as much as possible. Especially with Anko. She is very graphic with her descriptions.

“Well, that’s how you’re acting.” 

Iruka knows Anko is right. It’s been a month since his encounter with Shita outside of the tori gate, and nothing has been the same. In his confusion over Sandaime’s warning and Shita’s sudden change in demeanor, Iruka has been snippy to almost everyone he talks to. He can’t remember that last time he had a genuine smile on his face.

“So are you going to tell me what Shitani-san did to you?”

“He didn’t do anything,” Iruka sighs for the hundredth time in the last week. Anko has been pestering him about it nonstop, but he hasn’t told her anything. He doesn’t want to share what happened with anyone, even Anko. “Shita-san has just been training me very hard lately and I’ve been tired.”

“Tired my ass. You’ve been bouncing off the walls nonstop for the last few weeks.” And she’s right. Iruka doesn’t know where all this energy is coming from, but nothing he does can burn it all off.

“Just drop it, Anko-chan,” Iruka mutters. He still hasn’t looked at her, just stares at his parents’ graves as if the secrets of the universe may appear at any moment.

“What is your prob –“

“I have training I need to go to,” Iruka cuts her off. He stands up and grabs the picnic basket he brought before walking off without saying goodbye. He’s been in a bad mood all morning, and Anko’s prying isn't making it any better. He knows he’s being rude, and he will most likely apologize to her later when he isn’t feeling so irritated. She doesn’t follow him, or even yell obscenities at him while he walks away, so he knows she understands that he needs his space. He’s already planning on buying her dango to make up for his behavior when he arrives at the shrine.

Shita is waiting for him at the top of the stone steps, his eye half-lidded in boredom. Iruka has become used to that look over the last month instead of the happy arch he was always greeted with. It doesn’t even make his chest clench when he sees it anymore.

“Get dressed. Today is kata.” And Shita walks away. Iruka’s grip on the picnic basket goes white-knuckled for a brief moment before he goes to change.

**-x-**

Iruka is not in the mood.

“Your movements need to be sharper, Iruka.”

Iruka is _definitely_ not in the mood.

Iruka inhales deeply as he moves through the set of kata. Every move is precise and fluid, the bokken in his hands following suit. The iaido kata Shita has been teaching him for the last five months usually puts Iruka’s mind at peace and allows him to imagine the bokken as an extension of himself, but all he wants to do right now is beat Shita over the head with it.

“Higher, Iruka. You know this already. Stop slacking.”

Iruka grits his teeth. The sun is beating down on him relentlessly, sweat trickling down his face and neck and into his robes. It’s hot and he’s been out here practicing for over an hour and Shita has been short with him the entire time. You’re not moving swiftly enough, Iruka. You’re not holding the bokken properly, Iruka. You are useless and will never get this right, Iruka.

Well, maybe not the last one, but Shita might as well just come out and say it already. Iruka doesn’t understand what kata has to do with chakra, anyway.

“You’re letting your breathing go, Iruka. Concentrate harder.”

And that’s it.

Iruka breaks the kata with a stifled growl and drops the bokken to the floor, not caring how disrespectful it might be. He is hot and sweaty and _fed up_. Shita doesn’t bat an eyelash at him.

“This is ridiculous,” Iruka finally says after long moments of staring.

“Yes, breaking kata to whine is pretty ridiculous,” Shita counters.

“No, the kata is ridiculous!” Iruka’s voice is steadily climbing. “What does this have to do with the Kuchiyose?”

“You haven’t progressed enough to understand.”

“How am I supposed to understand anything if you won’t tell me?”

“If you’d had proper training to begin with, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“And who was supposed to train me? My dead mother?” Iruka is breathing heavily now, his fists clenched at his sides. Shita hasn’t budged.

“Actually, yes.”

“What the _fuck_?!” Iruka cries. He really doesn’t swear often, but his heartbeat is racing and his fingertips are tingling and everything is just _fuck_. The quiet niggling in the back of his head now seems like a roaring waterfall, and his ears are pounding from the sound. “It seems like you want me to fail.”

Shita doesn’t respond.

“That’s it, isn’t it?” Iruka knows he’s being irrational, but he doesn’t care. “You don’t want me to complete the Final Kuchiyose. You don’t want me to be able to marry Anko and have an heir. You don’t want me to be able to protect Konoha. That’s what all this ridiculous training is for. Kata, meditation, calligraphy – none of that has to do with chakra or the Kuchiyose at all! You want me to fail!”

Iruka is aware he is yelling, and he’s secretly glad they’re alone so that no one can see him look crazy and accuse his sensei of dooming the village. However –

“You’re right.”

Iruka is too shocked to breathe.

“The Final Kuchiyose is a vicious cycle of death and tragedy.” There’s an edge in Shita’s voice that Iruka hasn’t heard in months. Shita’s eye has gone dark and something cold washes over Iruka, similar to the killing intent he felt when Shita cast the genjutsu on him. “I don’t understand how you’re so willing to give up your life for a village that only cares about whether you can produce an heir before the big bad monster arrives.”

“I’m the Raikiri no Yoki, it is my duty.” Iruka doesn’t understand where all this is coming from. After all this time, Shita thinks the Final Kuchiyose is wrong? Where did that come from?

“Don’t you have something to live for?”

Iruka’s mouth shuts with an audible click. There’s plenty he has to live for – his friends, Sandaime, Asuma, Anko, the kids he tutors, the shrine. They’re also the reasons why he is willing to give up his life so easily to protect them.

“Don’t you want to be able to live a normal life, free to marry who you choose?” Shita continues. “Don’t you want to be able to teach the future generations of Konoha? Don’t you want to be able to watch your child grow into an adult?”

“I –“

“Imagine how your mother felt right before she died, knowing she would never get to hold her only son in her arms again.”

Iruka’s chest clenches painfully and his eyes begin to sting with unshed tears.

“How old will your child be when you have to give up your life for this village? Will they be old enough to remember your face? The intervals Tsukiyomi has been showing up at lately say otherwise. Even if you die for this village and send the beast away, how long before it comes back again? Long enough so your child can have children of their own? Or will your heir be the last to die before Tsukiyomi wins and the village falls?”

The tears are flowing in earnest now because Shita is right. It’s already at the point where his marriage had to be arranged just to protect the line of the Raikiri no Yoki, and if Tsukiyomi’s attacks come sooner and sooner…

“We will find a way.” Iruka’s voice is rough and unsteady, but he doesn’t care. “I will gladly die to protect my village. I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me. My mother died for this village to protect me, and I will die to protect the ones I love as well. I hope my child will learn the same principles and serve as the Raikiri no Yoki with honor, even if I’m not there to teach him. Even if what you say is correct, and Tsukiyomi attacks to the point where the Raikiri no Yoki can no longer be passed down, we will still find a way.”

“Another tragic way full of unnecessary sacrifice?”

“Do _not_ call our sacrifice unnecessary," Iruka spits. “Don’t you _dare_ insult my mother like that!” And then Iruka is lunging for Shita, pulling his fist back to swing at Shita’s jaw, but damn it how does Shita move so damn fast and Iruka swings at nothing but air before his arm is twisted behind his back and he’s pinned against the tree Shita was leaning against by Shita’s solid frame.

“Why are you here?!” Iruka growls, even though it’s a little muffled because one side of his face is currently buried into the trunk of a tree. He’s sure he will have the marks to prove it. “Why are you training me if you find my way of life so disgusting?”

“I made some promises,” Shita says after a very long time, and Iruka wonders if he imagines Shita loosening his grip a little. “I intend to keep them.” Shita lets go of Iruka and Iruka pushes off the tree, facing Shita with a glare.

“Just to be clear, I don’t find your way of life disgusting,” Shita says, reverting back to his bored lecture tone. “I find it cruel. Your life was marked as expendable simply because you were your mother’s son. The same for your ancestors and your descendants. It’s a vicious cycle.”

Iruka is confused, but he’s not surprised. He hasn’t completely understood what’s been going on with Shita for over a month, and suddenly going from “your sacrifice is unnecessary” to “I hate it because your life is on the line for no good reason" does nothing to clear things up for Iruka.

“I once told you that if I had anything to do with it, you would live a long, happy life,” Shita continues, and something blossoms in Iruka’s chest because he wasn’t sure if Shita remembered any of that. “I meant what I said. However, Sarutobi-sama hired me to make sure you can summon the fourth shikigami by your birthday. I intend to fulfill my end of the bargain as well, even if I don’t want to. We’re done for the day.”

Iruka waits until Shita is out of sight before he slides down the tree and crumples into a heap on the ground. His head is throbbing, his chest hurts and his eyes sting.

Where did everything go wrong? Why did Shita change so much? He misses the old Shita, the one who greeted him with playful banter and warmth and acceptance. The one Iruka waited for every year to return to the shrine just so he could tell him everything that happened since his last visit.

The one that Iruka fell in love with.

**-x-**

_Please, protect him. He is everything to us. I beg you, keep him safe._

Iruka shoots up from his futon, his mother’s final words ringing in his ears. He’s covered in sweat and panting hard. He hasn’t had that dream in a very long time, but the words are reverberating through his skull as if they were forced there and damn it, he’s crying for the second time in twenty four hours.

“Mother,” he whispers, pulling his knees to his chest as he sobs quietly. “I wish you were here. I wish Tsukiyomi didn’t exist and this stupid sword wasn’t inside of me. I wish I didn’t have to force Anko-chan to marry someone who doesn’t love her and have a child I may not get to see grow up and I wish Shita-san…I wish Shita-san would look at me the way he used to.”

Iruka sobs until his exhaustion is bone-deep and his body sags bag down into the futon. His body isn’t thrumming with energy for the first time in two months, and he quickly slips into a deep, dreamless sleep.

He doesn’t hear the soft swish of the paper door to his room close.

**-x-x-x-**

Classes end for the summer, and Iruka’s training intensifies.

The day after their confrontation, Shita begins their training session with an apology for insulting his mother’s memory. Iruka doesn’t know what to say, so he only nods and mumbles a thanks before he begins his kata.

Ever since, their time together hasn’t seemed as hostile or distant as before. Shita still doesn’t eat meals with him anymore or talk to him outside of training, but during training, Shita isn’t as harsh or cold as before. Iruka is happy that he isn’t receiving the blunt of Shita’s anger anymore, but he’s still confused as to why they can’t go back to the way it was before.

The next few weeks fly by in a blur of wedding preparations and training. Iruka barely has any time to breathe, so when he has a spare few hours with Anko, he expects to enjoy the time to relax and unwind. Instead, he gets, “You’re in love with Shitani-san.”

It’s not a question.

“Don’t be silly, Anko-chan,” Iruka says a little too quickly.

“I’m not being silly, Iruka,” Anko replies, and she’s all stern eyes and solemn expressions. Iruka just sighs and bows his head. Why does Anko have to know him so damn well?

“Are you going to tell him?”

“It’s not my secret to tell.”

They share a comfortable silence before Iruka says, “He’s leaving after my training is complete.”

Anko snorts. “Like, the minute after you’re done or what?”

“The way he’s been acting, that’s what it seems like.”

“What a twat.” 

Iruka smirks. That’s Anko for you.

“I’m sorry, Anko-chan.”

“For what?”

“That you’re forced to marry me.”

“I’m pretty sure we’ve had this conversation before. You’re in a way worse boat than I am, Iruka. At least I’m attracted to the guy I have to marry. You don’t even like women, no matter how sexy I am.” And then Anko is grinning at him and nudging him in the side, and they giggle together and Iruka feels a peace he hasn’t felt in a very long time.

**-x-x-x-**

“Breathe deeply. Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth. Block out everything but my voice.”

Iruka takes a brief moment to think that the roaring waterfall in the distance doesn’t help with blocking out everything, but he dismisses the thought and goes back to his meditation.

“Look deep within yourself, Iruka. Pretend my voice is your center. Find my voice. Find your center.”

Iruka concentrates, picturing Shita’s voice as the centerpoint of his body, and homing in on it instantly. He lights his center up, and feels the whispers in the back of his head that he can’t quite understand grow louder.

“Good, Iruka. Now, use your chakra to find the chakra points throughout your body. Connect them all, applying and releasing pressure when necessary, just like in calligraphy. Let your chakra flow freely through your body.”

Iruka does, and he is fascinated to see more focal points in his body than he’s ever seen before. He lets his chakra flow and connect all the points. Warmth pulses in his center every time a focal point is connected, until his core is burning hot and all of his chakra pathways are glowing brightly.

“Focus on the seal. Use your power to summon the shikigami and unlock the seal. Use Raikiri to achieve your goal.”

Iruka can see the seal in his mind – a five-tiered circular lock that is marked with symbols he can’t read. He gathers his chakra and summons the fox, and the outermost tier of the seal begins to spin slowly.

“Good. Follow the motions, just like a set of kata. Everything is predetermined, and must flow with precision.”

Iruka’s body begins to hum with the flow of his chakra, and he summons the crow. The second tier begins to spin, followed by the third tier when he summons the ferret. He can see threads of yellow, red, and green mingling with his chakra, and knows his shikigami’s chakra is melding with his.

“Now, summon the final shikigami.”

Iruka frowns when the fourth tier doesn’t move. He tries to summon the fourth shikigami like he would the first three, but nothing happens.

“Use Raikiri.” Shita’s voice is closer now, and his center burns hot, though not uncomfortably. Iruka searches deeper within his core, trying to find the Lightning Cutter’s chakra that has eluded him so far. He grows frustrated when the whispers turn to buzzing and the chakra seems just outside of his grasp.

“You can do it, Iruka-kun.” Shita’s voice is right in his ear now, so deep and warm and just like the Shita he’s missed over the last two months. “You’re so close. I believe in you.”

Iruka’s body flushes with the warmth from his core, and a silver strand of chakra, followed by a purple one, joins the others in his pathways before the fourth tier begins to spin.

“Now!”

“Kuchiyose!” Iruka bites his thumb, opens his eyes, and slams his palm to the ground. Just before the puff of smoke appears, the buzzing in the back of his head becomes crystal clear, and he hears a woman’s voice.

_Good job, Iruka._

Iruka is confused, but disregards it immediately because every inch of his body is thrumming with excitement as the smoke clears and unveils four shikigami: a nine-tailed fox, a red-eyed crow, a green-eyed ferret, and a panther with inky black eyes and solid black fur that’s twice as big as a normal panther shoulder be.

The fox and ferret bound happily around Iruka while the crow and panther watch from afar. Iruka is laughing, kneeling to stroke the fur of the fox and ferret. He lets the panther sniff his hand before stroking the panther as well. Even the crow bounds over and nips at Iruka’s fingertips once he feels neglected, and through all the happiness, Iruka feels an overwhelming sense of relief.

“You did well.”

Iruka nearly forgot about Shita. He stands and turns to Shita, who is looking at him with a happy arch in his eye. Iruka’s chest swells with an emotion he doesn’t quite recognize and he begins to thank Shita for all his help before the world tilts on its axis and Iruka is falling.

Iruka wonders how many times Shita has saved him from having his face smashed into the ground after he’s wrapped in strong arms and his senses are overloaded by warmth and the scent of steel. Iruka sinks his fingers into Shita’s robes and uses that to steady himself, before promptly falling limp into Shita’s arms. His entire body feels like jelly and his eyelids are extremely heavy. He hears a pop and feels the shikigami returning to his chakra.

“I felt Raikiri,” Iruka mumbles, remembering the silver line of chakra that mingled with his. Iruka can barely repress the shiver that runs through his body when Shita runs his fingers through Iruka’s hair.

“I knew you could do it,” Shita says, and they stay like that for a long time. Iruka is in a state of cloudy bliss before reality begins to settle in.

“You’re going to leave now, aren’t you?” Iruka hears Shita take a deep breath before exhaling slowly.

“Yes.”

“I understand.” Iruka wonders what the tightness in his chest is for a brief moment before realizing it’s his heart breaking.

“I will be staying for the wedding, though.” 

Iruka can’t help but feel a twinge of happiness.

“I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you angry at me, Shita-san,” Iruka says into Shita’s robes. "I’m sorry things can’t be the way they were.”

Shita sighs and pushes Iruka away. Iruka panics for a moment, thinking Shita is going to leave him there alone for bringing up something so stupid, before Shita puts his hands on Iruka’s shoulders and makes eye contact. “I could never be angry with you, Iruka-kun.”

“I don’t understand.” And he doesn’t. Iruka frowns, because he’s almost positive that Shita treating him coldly for the last two months wasn’t just his imagination.

“You have to be one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met,” Shita says and Iruka blushes. “Pushing you away like that probably wasn’t the most effective way to follow Sarutobi-sama’s orders.”

What?

“What?” Iruka echoes his thoughts blankly. Shita laughs nervously and rubs the back of his neck.

“You see, Sarutobi-sama ordered me not to hang out with you anymore because he thought it was affecting your training. But I’m not good with emotions and stuff so I did the only thing that I could think of.”

Long moments pass where Iruka contemplates killing or kissing the man in front of him. Instead, he says, “So, you don’t hate me?”

“Of course not.” Shita’s eye arches happily, and Iruka visibly sags with relief. However, Iruka decides that if all of these truths are surfacing…

“Even if I don’t want to marry Anko-chan?”

Shita looks confused for a moment, before saying, “The arranged marriage isn’t the most ideal situation, but –“

“I’m not attracted to women,” Iruka blurts out, and Shita just stares. “I’m attracted to men.”

They’re both silent for so long that Iruka is about to apologize for being so brash before Shita steps closer and presses their foreheads together. Shita closes his eye, sighs, and says, “Iruka, you’re going to be the death of me.”

Iruka doesn’t know what to make of that, so he just blushes, which he then chastises himself for. Shita doesn’t seem to notice, though, because he just pulls away with a grin Iruka can make out through his mask and tells Iruka they’re going back to the shrine for dinner. Iruka is a little confused, but his spirit is light because it seems like Shita really doesn’t hate him after all.

 

**-x-x-x-**

If Iruka thought he was busy before, then he has no words to describe the week before the wedding.

He doesn’t get one moment of peace. He is constantly being stuffed into an elaborate kimono while the seamstresses take measurements and cluck their tongues over him. When they’re not tailoring the kimono to Sandaime’s exact specifications, he’s at ceremony rehearsals or dinner rehearsals or even Kuchiyose rehearsals – which his shikigami do _not_ appreciate, as they’ve expressed with nips and glares.

Iruka doesn’t see Shita much during the week. There are a couple of times where Iruka is making his way from one part of the shrine to the other and he feels a tingling sensation on the back of his neck, only to turn around and see Shita watching him from the distance. Shita just waves and Iruka smiles and waves back, but they don’t get to talk. Iruka is disappointed because he’s not entirely sure where they stand. Are they friends? Are they still simply student and sensei? Is Shita really leaving for good after the wedding?

Should he tell Shita about his feelings?

Iruka pushes that thought away the moment it pops up. It would be foolish to confess to an older man who has no genuine interest in him that Iruka is in love with him, especially when Iruka is only days away from marrying someone else. Iruka wonders how he got himself into such a mess, but he ends up settling with the thought that after the wedding, Shita will be gone and Iruka will be married and too busy trying to procreate to worry about his feelings for another man.

During the week of preparations, Anko grins at Iruka knowingly and waggles her eyebrows after she catches him lost in thought about his situation with Shita a couple of times, even though he denies ever thinking about Shita to begin with. Anko just shakes her head at him and hits him upside his head for lying to her, and it’s so _Anko_ that he can’t help but laugh and be content with the thought that at least he gets to marry his best friend.

“So, did you guys finally kiss and make up?” Anko asks with a leer.

“There was no kissing! And I don’t know if we ‘made up’,” Iruka replies. “But I don’t think we’re on bad terms anymore.”

“I thought he was supposed to leave after your training was completed?”

“He’s staying for the wedding.”

“To watch his beloved marry another woman? Oh, the heartache!” Anko says with mock angst and a hand clutching dramatically at her chest. Iruka doesn’t look amused. “Oh come on, we both know he wants you.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“He’s always looking at you,” she says, the leer returning. “He tried to kill a man for you. Now, he’s making excuses to hang around even though your training is done? If that isn’t love, then I don’t know what love is.”

“I’m not going to trust _your_ definition of love,” Iruka says and Anko shoves him playfully.

“I know I’m right!” Anko says defiantly, and her eyes are gleaming mischievously. “And even if it kills me, you’ll know I’m right, too.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” But Iruka’s question isn't answered because the seamstresses decide to appear out of nowhere and drag him off to make the final touches to his kimono.

**-x-x-x-**

Iruka is eighteen when he wakes up on a brisk, spring morning, and he feels pretty damn good. The first thing he does is close his eyes, release his chakra, and summon his shikigami, just to make sure nothing drastic has happened since he last saw them. He’s delighted when four pairs of eyes are staring back at him, and even if his room is cramped from the sheer size of them all in one space, he finds himself giggling when the fox pounces on him and the ferret nuzzles his face while the crow and panther watch blankly. He makes sure to give them equal amounts of attention as well, but his fun is cut short when Sandaime calls for him outside of his bedroom door. Iruka sighs, smiles at his shikigami, and releases them.

The rest of the day passes by in a haze.

Iruka is disappointed when he doesn’t catch a glimpse of Shita at all. He last saw Shita the day before right before dinner, and managed to exchange a brief “how are you?” before being pulled away again for more wedding preparations. Even if Iruka still isn’t sure where they stand, he knows his time is running short. Shita will be leaving after today, and Iruka isn’t sure if he’ll ever see Shita again. He wants to be able to talk to Shita at least once before Shita leaves.

Iruka grows increasingly panicked as the day progresses without any sign of Shita, and he has to calmly reassure himself that Shita didn’t leave already, he’s just busy, and even if Shita was around, Iruka wouldn’t have any time to talk to him right now to begin with. Iruka takes a deep breath and resolves that he will just speak to Shita at the reception after the ceremony, and manages to slip into a state of meditation while the miko work on his hair.

Before he knows it, Iruka is walking side by side with Anko, both dressed in elaborate kimonos, being led by miko to the haiden, followed by Anko’s parents and grandparents, Sandaime, Asuma, and some other relatives of the Mitarashi and Sarutobi clans that he doesn’t recognize. They walk silently, and Iruka is pleased to note that he doesn’t feel nervous. In fact, he’s smiling, even if Anko noted when they first gathered to begin the ceremony that his smile was a little sad. He feels a small pang in his chest when he thinks of how he hasn’t seen Shita all day, but pushes it away as they enter the haiden.

The Shubatsu and Norito-sojo blur together, and Iruka is in the middle of wondering if Shita will be able to make time to visit the shrine at least once a year when Anko nudges him, gesturing with her chin to the priest who is offering Iruka a small cup of sake. Iruka apologizes quietly and takes the cup, proceeding with the San San Kudo. On the third, and largest, cup of sake, right before it touches Iruka’s lips, the shrine doors open, and Shita enters the haiden, one bored eye scanning the interior. Iruka smirks when the disapproving glares Shita receives don’t seem to faze him, and Shita even dips his head in acknowledgement at Iruka when their eyes meet. Shita doesn’t take a seat, keeping by the entrance with his arms crossed over his chest.

Iruka can’t fight the overwhelming amount of happiness that rushes over him, and tips the sake back and lets it burn down his throat. Anko follows suit, and even smacks her lips afterward, muttering something about “good stuff” before they’re lead to the altar by the priest.

Once in front of the altar, Iruka’s nerves begin to act up, and the whispers in the back of his head grow louder. He ignores it, though, and takes Anko’s hand, kneeling in front of her and pressing a kiss to the back of her palm. Anko is leering at him when he looks up, and he just rolls his eyes, glad that no one but the priest is close enough to make out their facial expressions.

This is it, he thinks, and lets Anko’s hand go to bite his thumb hard enough to draw blood. He remains kneeled in front of her, his head bowed. He closes his eyes and lights up his chakra pathways. First, his white chakra, and then the yellow, red, green, and purple chakra of his shikigami. Right before he opens his eyes to complete the ceremony, the silver thread of chakra joins the other, and Iruka’s body hums with something powerful. The whispers become roaring and then the same female voice from before echoes through his mind.

_Your time of peace is about to end._

Iruka doesn’t have time to figure out what that means, because he’s opening his eyes, looking up at Anko and slamming his palm into the ground while simultaneously calling out “Kuchiyose!” and why is Anko grinning like that and _what are those things she is pulling out of her kimono_?

There’s a puff of smoke from the kuchiyose, and Iruka can feel his shikigami surrounding him. However, the smoke doesn’t clear, and it begins to _change colors_. Someone screams as the red, blue, purple and green smoke begins to fill the room. It’s so thick he can’t even see Anko anymore, but he feels the brush of the ferret and fox against his fingertips as they make their presence by his side known. The crow squawks from somewhere in the distance, and Iruka doesn’t know why, but he knows the panther is watching carefully from a point not very far away, looking for intruders.

There is chaos.

Someone cries out that Iwa is attacking, but Iruka hears mad cackling and knows this is one of Anko’s tricks. He tries to find her in the smoke, but has no luck. It’s too thick, and he manages to stumble over the altar instead, tearing his kimono down the side of his left leg. He feels a hand on his shoulder and spins around, coming face to face with a beaming Anko.

“Anko-chan, what the hell –“

Iruka is quieted when Anko pulls him down for a chaste kiss, smiling softly at him when they part. He can only stare.

“Happy birthday, Iruka,” Anko says, and Iruka realizes this is the first time someone has wished him a happy birthday all day. “Now, find him and get out of here.”

“Find who –?” When Anko just clucks her tongue and shakes her head at him before disappearing in the colorful smoke, Iruka feels a surge of emotion so strong it brings tears to his eyes. He’s never been so mad and so happy at the same time, and even if Anko has just pissed off several priests, elders and kami in the process, he knows that she did this all for him.

Iruka darts in the general direction of the exit.

He can hear his elders calling out his name, trying to search for him and Anko in the smoke. With the help of his shikigami who keep them all at bay, Iruka manages to make it down the aisle without getting caught or tripping over anything, until he bumps into something hard and sturdy and arms wrap around his body. He struggles, not wanting to let Anko’s gift to him go to waste, but he’s spun around and face-to-face with Shita.

They stare at each other for long moments, the chaos in the background dull and less important than Shita’s intense gaze. Iruka swallows hard, trying hard to find his voice, before he manages to say, “Take me somewhere.”

“Where?” Shita asks.

“Anywhere. Just – away.” Shita searches Iruka's face, and Iruka blushes from the scrutiny. Shita seems to find what he was looking for, though, because he nods once and in one swift movement, Iruka is cradled in Shita’s arms, with his arms around Shita’s neck, and they’re bounding out the door and through the tori gate at a speed Iruka has never experienced before in his entire life.

Buildings, trees, streets and lamp posts pass by in a blur as Shita leaps from rooftop to rooftop, and Iruka can see his shikigami following suit. The wind rushes through his hair and flutters his kimono and Shita’s arms are so warm and comforting around him. He’s never felt so amazing in his life. Iruka can’t help but laugh in pure glee as they race across the rooftops of Konoha, and he feels Shita’s arm tighten around him. He looks at Shita’s face, and even though Shita’s eye is trained on the path ahead of them, Iruka knows he is grinning behind the mask.

Shita takes him to the outskirts of Konoha where the forest begins, on the opposite side of the village of Mount Hokage. When there are no more rooftops, Shita sets Iruka down on the ground gently before offering his hand, telling Iruka to run. Iruka takes it, marveling at how cool Shita’s palm feels against his own, and they run through the forest for half an hour until they reach an old-looking cabin.

It’s a safehouse from the shinobi period, Shita tells him. It’s very worn out and has probably seen better days. The door is boarded shut and they have to enter through a window in the back, but once they’re inside and in the main room, Iruka can tell the place has been lived in recently. The floor is relatively clean and there is a futon rolled up in the corner next to a stack of canned food and two gas lamps. His shikigami stay outside, patrolling the perimeter.

Iruka walks to the center of the room, taking it all in as he begins to come down from his high. He’s really here, in a cabin in the woods with Shita, instead of at his wedding reception sitting next to his new wife. He laughs quietly to himself at the thought.

“What’s so funny?”

Iruka turns on his heel to face Shita, who is watching him from the doorway, leaning against the frame. Iruka smiles at him, because Shita is here with him and not leaving forever and it all seems so surreal. Iruka thinks it’s the adrenaline still coursing through his veins that makes him bold, because instead of answering Shita’s question, he’s taking a step closer to Shita, asking, “Can I see what’s underneath your mask?”

Shita huffs in amusement. “Why would you want to do that?”

“I want to know –“ Iruka takes another step forward, and Shita just watches him. “—if what I’ve pictured for all these years is even close to what you really look like.”

Shita pushes himself off the frame, closing the distance between them. Shita reaches up as if he’s going to ruffle Iruka’s hair, which now hangs to his shoulders loosely instead of pinned in the intricate bun the miko had put up earlier that day. Instead, Shita runs his fingers through it slowly, and Iruka doesn’t hesitate to close his eyes and lean into the touch.

“It wouldn’t be wise, Iruka-kun,” Shita says after a long moments of silence, still stroking Iruka’s hair.

“But after today, you’ll be gone.” Shita’s hand stops and falls to his side. Iruka opens his eyes, and Shita is looking at him strangely. He looks upset. “You said you were going to leave and never come back.”

“Iruka, I –“

“It’s my birthday,” Iruka pouts, and Shita’s expression softens. Iruka takes a deep breath, reaches out with one hand to let his fingertips brush softly against the fabric of Shita’s mask before letting them rest gently on Shita’s cheek. Shita doesn’t push him away, and Iruka decides to go out on a limb. “I want to know what your lips feel like when I kiss you.”

Shita laughs softly and Iruka frowns, because he’s pretty sure what he just said wasn’t supposed to be funny. Iruka drops his hand from Shita’s face and tries to step away, but Shita grabs Iruka’s hips and stops him.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Iruka growls, flushing furiously.

“But you’re so cute when you blush,” Shita replies, and Iruka’s eyes go wide and his cheeks grow warmer. Shita pulls Iruka closer and when Iruka reaches up again to touch Shita’s mask, Shita hums approvingly. “Only because it just so happens to be your birthday.”

Iruka is nervous, but he swallows it down and hooks a finger into the mask, pulling it down slowly until it pools around Shita’s throat.

“How do I look?” Shita smirks, and Iruka’s chest tightens. Shita’s nose is straight and his lips are pale and full. There’s a scar on the left side of his strong jaw, and when he smiles, Iruka can see two slightly crooked teeth. His face is smooth, and if Iruka didn’t know any better, he would swear Shita was only a couple of years older than him.

“You’re –“ Iruka doesn’t finish because he’s already pressing his lips against Shita’s, and they’re soft against his and Shita is kissing him back, moving his lips against Iruka’s in slow, deliberate movements that seem to go on forever until Iruka pulls back, light-headed and heavy lidded and so incredibly _warm_.

Shita’s grip on Iruka’s hips is almost painful, but Iruka doesn’t care. His head is buzzing and his fingertips are tingling and there’s something molten pooling in his belly, and he’s surprised when Shita closes the distance to kiss him again instead of the other way around. Iruka makes noises he didn’t know he was capable of making when Shita runs his tongue over Iruka’s bottom lip, and they must be something good because Shita groans back in response, rubbing his thumbs over Iruka’s hips.

Iruka lets his hands wander - through Shita's hair, along his neck, across the hard planes of his chest and abdomen through his robes. Shita's body feels electric underneath Iruka's fingertips, and Iruka suddenly finds himself itching to touch Shita's bare skin.

The heat in Iruka’s body escalates quickly. The kiss that started out slow and exploratory is now rough and demanding. Iruka wants more – more of Shita’s skin, more of Shita’s lips, more of Shita’s breathy moans. Iruka’s head is fuzzy and lightheaded from the overwhelming _want_ that pulses through his body.

“Please, I –“ Iruka manages between gasps of breath and Shita’s lips, clutching at Shita’s robes. “Please, Shita-san, I want –“ Even if Iruka’s been bold up until this point, he doesn’t think there’s enough adrenaline in the world that could make him complete his sentence.

Except Shita is running his hand down Iruka’s thigh to the tear in his kimono, where Shita slips his hand inside and trails his fingers against Iruka's bare thigh and back up to Iruka’s hip, hitching up the kimono as he does so.

“What do you want, Iruka-kun?” Shita’s voice is deeper than normal and slightly ragged, and Iruka whimpers at the sensation Shita’s voice sends through his body.

“I want –“ Iruka bites his lip, the words stuck in his throat. He gasps when Shita moves the hand he has under Iruka’s kimono and palms his ass.

“Tell me.” 

Iruka moans when Shita squeezes his ass.

“I want you,” Iruka says in one breath, and his face begins to burn immediately after. Shita smirks at him before kissing him slowly and deeply, breaking apart with a small, chaste kiss to the corner of Iruka’s mouth.

“What about Anko-chan?” 

Iruka frowns and looks away. “She knows that I don’t like women,” Iruka admits. “The smoke bombs at the wedding were all her idea. I didn’t even know about them.” Shita hums with amusement and presses their foreheads together.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shita asks softly.

“Yes,” Iruka says breathily. He’d say anything to feel more of Shita, and have Shita touch more of him. Iruka isn’t foolish enough to question why Shita is even reciprocating Iruka’s affections in the first place. He just wants to enjoy this night and deal with repercussions in the morning. When Shita just gives him a questioning look, Iruka repeats, “Yes. With you. Only with you.”

When Shita pulls Iruka flush against his body, murmuring Iruka’s name as he trails hot kisses down Iruka’s jaw and neck, Iruka can’t help but think this has to be the most amazing moment of his life.

**-x-**

Iruka wakes to cool air against his back, and through his sleepy haze manages to turn over in the futon to see Shita sitting up, his bare back toward Iruka.

“Shita-san?” Iruka mumbles sleepily. His eyes won’t open completely so he knows he hasn’t slept for very long. Shita turns and looks at Iruka, and Iruka can’t help but smile dopily at Shita’s face, still free of the mask.

“Shh, go back to sleep,” Shita whispers, twisting around, kissing Iruka softly and stroking Iruka’s hair. Iruka hums his approval, letting his eyes close. If Shita says to go back to sleep, then he will go back to sleep. His body still aches from their…well, from _that_ , and he wants nothing more than to curl up and rest for a few more hours.

“Where’re you goin’?” Iruka slurs as his body begins to relax under Shita’s fingertips.

“Shh,” is Shita’s reply. “I’ll see you again, Iruka-kun.” 

Iruka doesn’t bother trying to figure out what that means, and he barely registers the faint press of lips to his temple before sleep overcomes him.

**-x-**

The next time Iruka wakes up, it is to a sound that has haunted his dreams for ten years: something is roaring in the distance.

“Shita-san,” Iruka manages to gasp, scrambling up from the futon, forgetting his nakedness as he searches through the dark for a lamp. He can hear his shikigami puttering around outside. Iruka’s heart is beating wildly in his chest when he finally gets the lamp lit, and the room is illuminated.

Shita is nowhere to be found.

Iruka notices the folded white robes and black hakama next to the futon, and wastes no time wondering where they came from before putting them on. He lets out a startled cry when another roar causes the windows to rattle, and he spends a moment quietly panicking before the fox barrels into the room, looking frantic.

“Is it…?” Iruka asks the fox, unable to finish his sentence. Iruka thinks the fox may look a little sad when it dips its head in the affirmative.

Tsukiyomi.

Iruka’s thoughts are wild and incoherent. Why is Tsukiyomi attacking so soon? Is the village okay? What does he do now? How can he get to the village in time?

Where is Shita?

Iruka feels helpless, clutching at his head in his panic. Why isn’t Shita here? He needs Shita! Where did he go? Why did he leave Iruka so soon? Iruka didn’t even tell him that he…

 _You need to protect Konoha_.

The voice in his head is loud and clear, piercing through his jumbled thoughts.

“I know,” Iruka whispers to himself. He clenches his fists, closes his eyes, and steels his resolve. This is not the time to panic. It doesn’t matter if Shita is here or not. The village is in trouble and the time has come for Iruka to protect them. Nothing can stand in his way.

Iruka looks at the fox, and as another roar echoes in the distance, they make their way out of the same window he entered through. The sky is still dark, but his shikigami are waiting for him outside, all looking at him as if awaiting orders. Iruka takes a deep breath and nods.

“It’s time,” he says, and the panther steps forward, bowing its head before lowering into a crouch in front of Iruka. Iruka understands and mounts the panther, grabbing handfuls of fur as the panther stands up to its proper height. “Let’s go.”

They run.

Iruka spends the entire time they run through the forest willing everyone to be okay: Anko, Sandaime, Asuma, Shita, the miko, the villagers. He hopes that they are evacuating as quickly as possible and that there aren’t any casualties. He silently curses himself for being so foolish as to leave the village at a crucial time, but can’t bring himself to regret his night with Shita.

Iruka’s heart clenches as he remembers the way Shita’s hands felt on every inch of his body; how Shita’s mouth left hot trails in its wake everywhere it touched. The burn of being stretched for the first time, even if Shita was so very careful about it. The absolute fullness he felt when Shita was inside of him, Shita panting Iruka’s name into his ear with each thrust, the heat of Shita spilling inside of him.

But that’s all over now and Iruka pushes the memories aside, focusing on getting to the village as soon as possible. Through the trees, Iruka can see the night sky tinted with orange, and it feels like ice flows through his veins when they finally make it past the entrance of the forest and to the outskirts of Konoha.

The village is burning.

Fire is raining down from the sky like meteors, coming from the direction of Mount Hokage. He can hear screaming coming from the village, and Iruka wills his shikigami to run faster. He needs to get to the shrine.

The streets are mostly deserted as they finally make it to the Konoha River, and he’s glad most of the people seem to have taken the evacuation routes. Iruka feels nothing but relief when the tori gate becomes visible in the horizon. The shikigami stop in front of the stone steps and Iruka slides off the panther. He nods at them and watches as they disappear and feels them return to his chakra reserves.

Iruka takes the stone steps three at a time until he is on the shrine grounds and immediately bolts toward the haiden. He is relieved when he sees the shrine is deserted. The haiden is still decorated for the wedding, still in disarray from Anko’s prank. Iruka doesn’t have time to care, though, as he makes his way to the entrance to the honden.

Iruka has never been inside of the honden. Only Sandaime and some of the older priests are allowed inside to offer worship to Sharingan no Kakashi, so Iruka doesn’t know what to expect when he’s finally inside. It’s a small room with a statue of Sharingan no Kakashi with an altar in front of it on the opposite wall and tatami mats on the floor. There is a thin pole in the center of the room that doesn’t seem to provide much support for the building at all, and protective charms hang above the entrance.

Iruka stands still for a moment. He doesn’t know what to do, and the pounding in his ears doesn’t do anything to help. He approaches the statue cautiously, gazing up at the indistinctive face of the kami who will protect them all.

 _Summon him_.

Iruka kneels in front of the statue and bows his head. He closes his eyes and finds his center, lighting up all of his focal points with chakra. He pictures the five-tiered seal, and lets the yellow, red, green and purple chakra unlock the first four tiers. He buries deep within himself, remembering how Shita praised him the first time he was able to summon the panther, and the fifth tier begins to spin.

An image of a sword burns itself deep within his mind, and silver chakra floods his pathways, taking over his own chakra and the chakra of his shikigami. His blood feels like it is boiling and Iruka cries out in pain, bracing himself on the floor as the world begins to spin. His ears are roaring and a bright light burns through his closed eyelids, and Iruka can only think, _please, please, help me protect Konoha._

It ends almost as soon as it begins.

Iruka pants heavily, trying to gain his breath as his chakra returns to normal. He doesn’t feel anything different besides fatigue, and opens his eyes, expecting to see Sharingan no Kakashi.

No one is there.

Iruka stands up quickly, turning around on his heel to examine the room. It is exactly the same as before, and he is the only occupant. Iruka doesn’t understand. He’s positive he completed the ritual, even if it was the first time. Sharingan no Kakashi should have made his appearance to extract Raikiri. Did he do something wrong? Should he try it again? How is he going to protect the village?

“Umino Iruka.”

“Shita-san?” Iruka gasps as he turns around. The voice was definitely Shita’s, even if Iruka didn’t see anyone else in the room just moments before.

Except the man standing in front of Iruka is not Shita. He looks like Shita, but this man has wild, white hair and his dark robes seem to swirl and cling to his body like living shadows. He has a scar on the left side of his jaw and a straight nose just like Shita, but there is no eye patch, only one dark eye and one glowing red.

Iruka can’t breathe. It feels as if something heavy is pressing down on his shoulders. His legs give out under the weight and he falls to the floor. His chest constricts as the glowing red eye seems to pierce into the darkest, deepest corner of his soul. Iruka’s chakra flares to life, completely silver and rushing in waves through his body.

Iruka is in the presence of a kami.

“Sharingan no Kakashi?” Iruka asks with staggered breath, and the god before him laughs.

“I’ve always hated that name,” the kami says with Shita’s voice, kneeling down in front of Iruka and touching his face with cool, dry fingertips. The pressure Iruka felt on his shoulders dissipates and he can breathe normally again. “You may call me Kakashi.”

“Why do you look like Shitani Shita?” Iruka asks. He feels unsettled, as if something isn’t quite right, but he is positive that this is Sharingan no Kakashi. He can feel the seal inside of him waiting to be unlocked, calling out for the kami in front of him. Kakashi doesn’t answer, though, and realization dawns on Iruka. “Shita-san.”

“I’m sorry, Iruka-kun.”

“Why?” Iruka asks, his voice cracking as hot tears spill down his face. The man – no, the _god_ – before him, the one who is supposed to take Raikiri, protect the village, and _take Iruka’s life_ in the process, is the man Iruka loves.

“I made a promise,” Kakashi replies softly. Kakashi moves to brush Iruka’s tears away with his thumb, and Iruka flinches away. He feels betrayed. He’s been lied to by Shi– Kakashi for years, prepared for the slaughter by the god he is supposed to sacrifice himself to. Kakashi looks pained.

“You lied to me,” Iruka cries.

“I needed to,” Kakashi says somberly.

“Was it all a lie?” Iruka spits. “Finding the Final Kuchiyose ridiculous? Pretending to be my friend? Everything from…everything from last night.”

“No.”

Iruka wants to scream. He wants to punch Shita in the face, regardless if he’s a god or not, for fucking with his head. The only thing that stops him is the roar in the distance.

Iruka closes his eyes and steels himself. He wills his heart to stop beating so violently and his nerves to calm down, and thinks about everyone in the village he is meant to protect. Now is not the time for trifles like love and betrayal.

Iruka takes a deep breath and meets Shi– Kakashi’s eyes, noticing for the first time that pupil of Kakashi’s red eye is not normal; three black tomoe spin lazily around it. Iruka doesn’t linger on it, though. He pushes all of those thoughts away before standing up, Kakashi following suit.

Iruka removes his white robes, standing only in his hakama. All five tiers of the seal below his navel are spinning, waiting to be unlocked.

"Please save our village.” Iruka is surprised when his voice comes out steady and strong instead of weak and pitiful, like the way he feels inside. He tries not to think that these are the final moments of his life, waiting for the man he loves to kill him. Instead, he thinks of the village he is protecting and the pride he takes as the Raikiri no Yoki. He thinks of his mother.

“Use my life as you deem necessary.”

Kakashi only stares at Iruka with a blank expression, the tomoe in his eye whirling slowly.

“I am your vessel. I am your weapon. In the name of all that serve you, I willingly give you my body and the power sealed inside.”

Kakashi moves forward, placing long, pale fingers against Iruka’s darker skin, until his palm is flat against Iruka’s seal. Iruka suppresses a shiver at Kakashi’s touch.

“Please, protect us.”

Kakashi moves to pull his hand back, but Iruka grabs Kakashi’s wrist before he can take his hand off of the seal.

“I am the last Raikiri no Yoki,” Iruka says, and he hopes Kakashi hears the plea in his voice. “Please, protect my village. If the Raikiri does not find another vessel, please help Konoha find another way to ward off Tsukiyomi.”

Kakashi just stares.

“Promise me!” Iruka cries, gripping Kakashi’s wrist tighter.

“No.”

Iruka reels back in surprise. “Wha -?”

“You’re right, you _are_ the last Raikiri no Yoki. And I intend for you to remain that way.” Faster than Iruka can make out, Kakashi goes through an intricate weave of hand signs before muttering, “ _Gofu Kekkai_ ,” and four sealing tags create a square around Iruka. A fifth tag slaps against Iruka’s chest, and then a bright light connects the tags before rising out of the floor in a transparent barrier. Before Iruka can protest, he is boxed in, sealed by a barrier he’s sure no one living should be able to create.

“What are you doing?!” Iruka shouts, banging his fists against the barrier. Kakashi watches from the outside, unfazed.

“I made a promise to your mother ten years ago,” Kakashi says, and Iruka’s heart aches. So it _was_ Kakashi he’d seen that dreadful night.

“Right before you killed her!” Iruka shouts, and the sorrow he feels is almost too much to handle.

“She did what she had to in order to protect Konoha!” Kakashi snaps, before regaining his composure. “I promised her I would protect you, and I kept that promise. Now, I will fulfill my promise to you.”

“What are you talking about?” Iruka is furious and confused and nothing makes sense anymore.

“I promised you a happy life. A _long_ , happy life.”

“Damn it, Shita-san, let me out of here!”

“I will defeat Obito without Raikiri, stopping the vicious cycle that is the Raikiri no Yoki. Konoha will finally have the peace it deserves.”

“What are you talking about?” Iruka shouts, continuing to pound on the unyielding barrier. Who or what is Obito? “You can’t do that! You need Raikiri in order to defeat Tsukiyomi! Without Raikiri, Tsukiyomi can’t be stopped!”

“That’s how it used to be,” Kakashi says quietly and bows his head, “when I wanted to keep him alive.”

“No.” Did Kakashi just say what Iruka thinks he just said? “You were…you kept it…?”

“I will end this tonight,” Kakashi says, not answering Iruka, and when he looks back up at Iruka, there is fire burning in his mismatched eyes and power radiating off him in waves Iruka can feel through the barrier. “I will protect this village, and I will protect you. I will gladly give my life in your place.”

“You can’t!” Iruka is panicking. Even if Kakashi claims he can destroy Tsukiyomi once and for all, there is no guarantee he is right. The only known way to defeat Tsukiyomi is with Raikiri, and Iruka will not take any chances that Kakashi is wrong. “Please, you need to take Raikiri. _Please_.”

“I can’t,” Kakashi says simply and smiles crookedly at Iruka.

“Why not?!” Iruka screams. He doesn’t understand. Everything is going downhill and Konoha may be doomed because -

“I love you.”

Iruka freezes, staring at Kakashi with bewildered eyes. Did Kakashi…did he hear correctly?

“I have to go, Iruka-kun,” Kakashi finally says, the crooked smile never leaving his lips.

“No, Shi- Kakashi, don’t go –“ Iruka’s brain can’t string together a coherent sentence.

“Live,” Kakashi interrupts, his voice firm. “Be happy.” And Kakashi disappears.

Iruka falls to his knees, his fists still against the barrier. He must be in shock because his own thoughts aren’t making any sense.

Shita was Kakashi this whole… Kakashi said he… He left without…

No.

 _No_.

“No!” Iruka cries, banging on the barrier. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find Kakashi. He doesn’t care what happens to himself, but he needs to _help_. He is the Raikiri no Yoki, damn it, and it is his responsibility to protect Konoha. He can’t just leave it in the hands of some stupid kami who wants to suddenly say “I love you” and disappear to _die_ without any explanation, and if there’s one thing Iruka deserves, it’s a damn explanation.

Iruka closes his eyes and lights up his chakra pathways. Yellow, red, green, purple – and silver. Raikiri’s chakra! He can use Raikiri’s chakra to help strengthen his shikigami and get him out of this barrier. He focuses on the silver chakra, absorbing it into his own chakra and branching it out into the chakra of his shikigami. The silver overtakes the others and when he opens his eyes, he’s looking at all four of his shikigami staring at him from outside the barrier.

And a woman.

The woman looks like she’s only a little older than Iruka, with chin-length brown hair and large, brown eyes. She is watching him affectionately, with her hands behind her back, and Iruka feels comforted by her presence.

“Who are you?” Iruka asks.

The woman tilts her head at him and smiles. It’s beautiful.

“My name is Rin,” she says, and Iruka instantly recognizes it as the voice from inside of his head. “You know me as Raikiri.”

“You’re the sword inside of me?” This day just gets more confusing with each passing moment. The woman just nods. “How did you get out there?”

“You summoned me,” she replies, and reaches out to touch the barrier. She hums softly, and the barrier disappears, along with the tags on the floor and the tag on Iruka’s chest.

“I don’t understand,” Iruka says.

“You want to help Kakashi,” she says, and reaches out to touch the seal below Iruka’s navel. “You used my chakra to summon your shikigami, and when you summoned them, you summoned me as well.”

“Are you a god too?”

Rin laughs, and it sounds like bells tinkling.

“Oh no, of course not,” she says, shaking her head with an amused smirk. “And neither is Kakashi.”

“Then what _are_ you?” Iruka doesn’t think he can handle it if the kami they’ve worshipped this whole time isn’t even a real god.

“We are shinobi.”

“Shinobi haven’t been around for fourteen hundred years!” Why does everything have to be so confusing?

“That’s true,” Rin replies. “Kakashi, Obito and I are the last shinobi.”

“But…how?”

“It’s a long story,” she says sadly. “Something we do not have the time for. I am here to help you, Iruka. Do you want to help Kakashi?”

“Yes,” Iruka says. Kakashi said he is forfeiting his life in Iruka’s place, and even if he is some fourteen-hundred-year-old shinobi who lied to him for years and locked him in a barrier, Iruka is entitled to an explanation and Kakashi couldn’t give him one if he was _dead_.

“Good. Kakashi deserves to be happy. It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve seen him smile the way he smiles at you.”

“I –“ Iruka blushes at the memory of Kakashi’s crooked smile. “How can we help him?”

“He needs your chakra. He’s going to try and stop Obito with his own chakra instead of using Raikiri.”

Iruka must look confused, because Rin explains, “When Kakashi used Raikiri in the past to defeat Obito, he was simply sealing Obito away into Mount Hokage. That’s why Obito keeps coming back. If Kakashi defeats Obito without using Raikiri, it will end the cycle of Obito’s hatred. However, Obito is very powerful. Kakashi will need to use every ounce of chakra he has in order to defeat Obito, and in the process, they will both die.” Rin’s expression saddens with every word.

“I agree with Kakashi that the vicious cycle of the Raikiri no Yoki needs to end,” she continues, “but Kakashi has been in so much pain for so long, and he doesn’t deserve to die without experiencing the happiness you bring him.” She sighs. “There is no saving Obito, but we can still save Kakashi.”

Iruka doesn’t understand why she would want to save this Obito person. If Iruka is right, then Obito is Tsukiyomi, and that means Obito is a relentless monster who’s killed thousands of villagers over the last fourteen hundred years.

At that moment, a roar so deafening that tears through the building, rattling the protection charms off the entrance and causing dust to fall from the ceiling. Rin lowers her eyes, a pained expression marring her beautiful face, and whispers, “Obito…”

“We need to hurry,” Rin says. “Kakashi is already with Obito.”

“I don’t think we can make it in time!” Iruka is about to rush toward the panther, but the lightest touch of Rin’s fingertips freezes him in place.

“Allow me,” she says, before wrapping her arms around him. Iruka feels the familiar rush of the silver chakra in his veins, and Rin whispers, “ _Shunshin no jutsu_.” Everything around them blurs for a fraction of a second, and Iruka’s stomach twists painfully before everything settles down again. They are no longer in the honden, but standing at the gates of Konoha that lead to the clearing that separates the village from Mount Hokage.

It’s exactly the same as that night ten years ago.

Behind him, Konoha burns.

In front of him, the clearing burns.

In the distance, Iruka can see blue arcs of lightning shooting up over the flames, followed by a roar that rattles his bones. Iruka knows that is where Kakashi and Obito are fighting.

“Go to him,” Rin says, and touches the seal on his stomach like before. “I will be at your side.”

The seal begins to spin and white light engulfs Rin’s form, completely engulfing her before disappearing. In her place is a beautiful sword with lightning arcing off of the blade. Iruka nods and takes the sword, and knows he is holding Raikiri in his hands.

Iruka feels something nudge his hand and looks to see the panther standing next to him. The ferret, fox and crow stand behind the panther, and he smiles at all of them.

“Will you help me?” Iruka asks, and the panther crouches in front of Iruka. Iruka mounts the panther and strokes its fur affectionately. The other shikigami flank him, and they sprint into the fire.

The flames part before them, and Iruka knows that is Rin’s doing. They run toward the lightning, but along the way, the flames begin to take shape, forming into beastly figures that lash out and try to strike Iruka. The shikigami attack the flame beasts and keep them at bay while the panther continues to run. One of the flame beasts manages to make it past the shikigami and attacks Iruka. Something burns white-hot across his face and he cries out in pain, slashing with Raikiri and watching the beast disintegrate under the Lightning Cutter.

Iruka feels blood rush down his face and smells the burning from his singed clothes, but he just urges the panther to run faster, faster toward the lightning and the roaring. They’re getting so close, and Iruka can feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up from the static electricity in the air. He can practically see them now: a large dragon made of flame clashing with a smaller figure surrounded by lightning. Their attacks are so fast that Iruka can barely make them out, and Iruka is so close he can shout out Kakashi’s name and –

A giant wall of fire blocks their path, spreading from one end of the clearing to the other, over a kilometer wide. The panther abruptly stops running to avoid crashing into the wall of fire, and Iruka is thrown off, landing in the dirt and Raikiri slipping out of his grip. He groans in pain and is sure he’s broken a rib, but manages to push himself off the ground, spitting out dirt as he rises.

The fire wall doesn’t burn him, but it doesn’t yield to his touch, either. Iruka can hear the clashing of lightning against fire from inside, so loud his eardrums ring after each crash. Iruka cries out Kakashi’s name, but Kakashi doesn’t hear him. Kakashi and Tsukiyomi continue to fight.

“What do I do?” Iruka whispers to himself. He is so close, _so fucking close_ , that he can feel Kakashi’s killing intent through the fire wall. If what Rin said is true, Kakashi and Tsukiyomi will fight to the death and Iruka will be able to do nothing but stand there as the man he loves dies in his place. He feels so helpless and furious at himself for not being able to protect Kakashi, and he wonders if this same emotion is the reason why Kakashi decided to die for Iruka instead?

The clashing stops, and Iruka can hear panting, crystal clear through the fire wall. Then, he hears Kakashi’s voice.

“I’m sorry it has to end this way, Obito,” Kakashi says, his breath ragged. There is a roar, followed by a voice dripping with malice.

“ _KAKASHI_!” the voice growls.

“I tried so hard to save you,” Kakashi says, and the pain in his voice makes Iruka’s chest tighten. “I did everything I could to bring you back to us. I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you and Rin, but I can’t continue to use the Raikiri no Yoki for my own selfish purposes.”

The voice roars again, so loud it brings Iruka to his knees.

“You would have liked him, Obito,” Kakashi says, and tears well up in Iruka’s eyes. “He’s kind and funny and he’s so beautiful. He was so willing to put his life on the line to protect Konoha, instead of growing bitter like the Raikiri no Yoki in the past. I’ve never met anyone like him before, and I want to do everything I can to protect him. I think I understand why you did what you did that day, Obito. You loved Rin so much, and I finally understand.”

No, no, no. If those aren’t last words, then nothing is. Iruka needs to do something. He needs to get in there and help Kakashi or….or…

Iruka stands up, searching the ground frantically. There, a few meters away, is the Raikiri. Iruka lunges for the sword.

“I don’t regret what I did all those years ago, but our time here is over. I did everything I could to save you and Rin, but there is nothing more I can do.”

Iruka wields Raikiri, rushing for the wall with a battlecry. Remembering the iaido kata, Iruka lifts the Raikiri and slashes the sword diagonally through the wall. The flames part in the blade’s wake, and Iruka rushes through. He sees Kakashi on one knee in the distance, surrounded by arcs of lightning. Several meters away, the fire dragon faces Kakashi. Iruka can now make out a figure standing inside of the tail of the fire dragon – a black shadow with one glowing red eye, just like Kakashi’s.

Neither of them notice Iruka.

“Goodbye, my friend.” And then Kakashi and the fire dragon are charging at each other.

“No!” Iruka cries and rushes toward them, Raikiri at his side. He runs, using the silver chakra in his body to move faster than he’s ever moved before. He has to stop Kakashi before it’s too late.

Everything happens in a blur. Just before Kakashi and Raikiri collide, Iruka cries out Kakashi’s name. Kakashi falters, but the fire dragon does not. The fire dragon consumes Kakashi and Iruka screams as he charges towards the figure inside of the fire dragon.

The glowing red eye still does not notice Iruka, solely focused on the spot where Kakashi has been consumed by the fire dragon. The figure is laughing – a twisted, maniacal sound. Fire beasts branch off of the fire dragon and try to deter Iruka from his path, but each one of them fall under Raikiri’s blade. Iruka is so close, pulling Raikiri back to thrust into the figure’s body when the red eye finally turns toward him, and Iruka freezes.

He can’t move.

Iruka doesn’t know what’s happening, but his body isn’t responding to his will. He can’t even breathe. His lungs begin to burn from the lack of oxygen, and the red eye never leaves his. Iruka tries to use his chakra to free himself, but it’s not enough. Iruka can feel tears streaming down his cheeks over the dried blood, and his vision begins to swim.

He’s failed. He is going to die here and Kakashi is already dead and Tsukiyomi is going to destroy the village. How could everything have gone so wrong?

Just as his vision begins to tunnel, Iruka can suddenly breathe again. Simultaneously, the fire dragon disappears. Iruka gasps large gulps of air and blinks the tears away, watching as the shadows seep away from the figure in front of him, revealing a man with short black hair, one red eye and one empty socket, and a hand jutting out from his chest.

The hand is pulled out of the man’s chest, and the man falls to his knees, all life leaving his eyes before falling face first into the dirt. Iruka feels an overwhelming sense of agony at watching the man die, and knows it is Rin.

The fall of the man he assumes is Obito reveals someone else standing behind him. This new man is wearing plain grey robes with a thick, purple rope tied around his waist. His black hair falls straight down to his hips, and his eyes are amber with slitted pupils. He is much taller than Iruka, with sallow skin and hollow cheeks.

He reminds Iruka of a snake.

The snake-man is looking at his hand, which is covered in blood. A long, forked tongue darts out and licks at the blood, and the man hums in approval. Then, his amber eyes meet Iruka’s.

Even though this man killed Tsukiyomi, Iruka isn’t sure he is Iruka’s ally.

The man begins to walk toward Iruka, and Iruka raises Raikiri into a defensive stance. The man smirks, and it twists into something sinister as he approaches Iruka. Iruka’s heart is racing and something inside of him is screaming at him to run, run as fast as he can, but instead, Iruka is raising Raikiri and slicing toward the snake-man.

The snake-man catches Raikiri’s blade in one hand mid-swing, and Iruka watches in horror as Raikiri disintegrates.

The silver chakra Iruka has become accustomed to disappears from his own, and the seal below his navel burns before completely vanishing. He can no longer feel Rin’s presence in his body.

“What did you do?” Iruka manages to choke out. His body is shaking, and he knows it’s from fear.

“I sent her to be with that Uchiha brat,” the man replies with a slightly high-pitched, raspy voice.

“You…you killed Rin,” Iruka says hoarsely. “Why did you kill her? She did nothing to you!”

“Ha! I created her and that feisty fire dragon you saw earlier. I can destroy them any time I feel like it.”

It takes a brief moment for it to dawn on Iruka, and ice floods his veins when he realizes he is in the presence of the man who created Tsukiyomi and the Raikiri no Yoki.

“Why are you here?” Iruka asks, his voice cracking.

“Kakashi broke our agreement,” the man replies with satisfaction in his voice. “I’m here to collect my payment.”

Iruka doesn’t even have time to blink before the man’s hand is on his chest, and Iruka cries out as white-hot pain floods his veins. Smoke curls around the man’s hand as Iruka’s skin burns underneath it. The man pulls back, revealing a mitsudomoe burned into Iruka’s chest.

“Now, you are mine,” the man says, and goes through a flurry of hand signs. Black, flame-like markings begin to spread out from the mitsudomoe, and Iruka screams. It feels like real flames are consuming his body.

“No!”

That’s Kakashi’s voice.

Iruka falls to the ground, unable to support himself in the intense pain. He closes his eyes and bites his tongue so hard he can taste blood as the flame-like markings begin to take over his body.

“You’re too late, Kakashi. Obito and Rin are dead, and now you get to watch this one die, too.”

“God damn it, this wasn’t part of our agreement!”

“Oh, I think it was. You broke your end of the bargain, and I’m just collecting what I’m rightfully owed. You better hurry up before this one is gone, too. Don’t want you to miss out on saying your goodbyes once again.”

“Get back here you fucking snake!”

Iruka’s body is shuddering violently, and his body is beginning to numb under the intense pain. He can’t move, only convulse involuntarily with his face buried in the dirt.

He hears footsteps barreling toward him and someone falls to the ground next to him. His body is rolled over and he can see the sun beginning to rise over Mount Hokage before it’s blocked out by Kakashi’s face.

Kakashi’s hair and clothes are singed and still smoking. His face is covered in dirt, his right eyebrow is bleeding profusely, and the tomoe in his left eye are spinning rapidly.

“Iruka!” Kakashi calls, running his fingers over Iruka’s face. Iruka can’t reply. His body is no longer under his control.

“I’m so sorry, Iruka,” Kakashi says, his voice pained. He pulls Iruka into his lap and leans down so that their foreheads are touching. “I fucked up again and this isn’t the way things were supposed to end. Iruka, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Iruka can no longer feel his legs, and his breathing is becoming labored. His lungs burn.

“I will fix this, Iruka,” Kakashi whispers. “I will find you, and I will bring you back. Do you hear me? Don’t give up. When you get there, find Obito and Rin. They will protect you. Wait for me.”

Iruka has no idea what Kakashi is talking about. Iruka can’t feel anything from the neck down anymore except the burning in his lungs, and his vision begins to tunnel.

“I will find you,” Kakashi whispers, and roughly kisses Iruka’s forehead. The pain in Kakashi’s eyes is the most intense thing Iruka has ever seen, and all Iruka knows is that he believes Kakashi.

“I will find you,” Iruka hears Kakashi say again, and the world goes black.

**Epilogue**

Deep within the Konoha Forest, kilometers away from any sort of civilization, is a tree. This tree is taller than all of the other trees around it, and three times as wide. The tree’s roots curl around the base protectively, protruding from the ground in thick tendrils.

This tree is older than Konoha itself.

On one of the roots protruding from the base of the tree stands a man clad in robes and hakama with a satchel draped over his shoulder. He has black hair and a mask covers the lower half of his face. He forms hand seals quicker than any living creature can see and places his palm against the trunk of the tree. A seal glows bright white on the trunk before fading away.

The area of the trunk where the seal appeared begins to twist, and a figure begins to emerge from the wood. The figure forms into a man with short, brown hair, bottomless black eyes, and he is completely naked. His face is expressionless for a few moments before it twists into one of annoyance.

“What do you want?” the man from the tree asks, clearly unamused.

“I need your help,” the man in the robes replies.

“Do it yourself,” the man from the tree scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Aww, but you’re the only who can help me~” the man in the robes whines, but the man from the tree looks unaffected. “Oh come on, you owe me a favor for helping you anyway!”

“You bound me a tree for the rest of eternity!” the man from the tree cries, his brows furrowing in frustration. “And I’ve already helped you plenty of times in the past! If anything, _you_ owe _me_!”

“This is the last time,” the man in the robes replies, his tone completely serious. The man from the tree stares at him incredulously. “I’m not joking.”

“Does it have something to do with your precious vessel?”

“Yes.”

The man from the tree sighs, shaking his head. The annoyance doesn’t leave his expression, but his shoulder slump in defeat. “Where are we going?”

“You’re going to want some clothes for this one,” the man in the robes replies with a smirk, fishing some robes out of the satchel. “We’re going to the Land of Spirits.”

**Author's Note:**

> There was a minor change - in the original work, the panther was a tiger. I changed it for a reason - can you guess why? :D


End file.
